Category Archives: Overnight

Baby Sleep Books: A Review

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This post has been put on hold for quite a while. First, it was because I was in the depths of sleep training hell, then when that got better I was waiting to finish up several chapters, and after that, well… I guess I just started to feel like I was writing a book report for school or something. But though I know these books have already been reviewed in the archives of HDYDI, I think the insight I’ve gained from them may possibly help some new MoMs. So here we go:

Weissbluth

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This is the book I started with, because it is more specific to twins, and I just needed a refresher since I already read a friend’s copy before the babies were born. It’s a very easy read, comprised of extremely intuitive advice that completely makes sense to me. I think it helped validate exactly how I’ve always felt about sleep for babies. There are a couple chapters in the beginning regarding his research and theories that are very interesting. If you’re looking for a quick fix for a common problem (e.g. how to create a schedule for both babies, how to stop bedtime crying, etc.), this is probably a good book to start with. The best gem of this book: “Sleep begets sleep.”

Pantley

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I bought this one because I wanted to get a perspective that wasn’t “cry it out” related. This book is geared towards parents who are opposed to letting their babies cry themselves to sleep. I was never really one of those parents, even with my first singleton, but now that I have two more babies, Pantley’s strategies really wouldn’t work for me. This book requires creating some pretty extensive sleep logs and QUITE a bit a patience. By that I mean, probably no one desperate for sleep would be able to hang in there for what may take weeks, if not months. But if the sound of your child crying is making you miserable, or if your baby requires a slower approach, you might want to give this a try. It really is a much gentler way.

Ferber

ferberbook

This is by far the most comprehensive book of the three. It includes very detailed information about sleep and virtually every sleep disorder there can be. Definitely some interesting reading in the later chapters (head banging, sleep apnea, narcolepsy, etc.), but you really only need to read half of Part II and Part III (Chapters 4-6, 9-12). Ferber is known for “cry it out”, but in his book it’s called “progressive waiting”, and I don’t find it particularly harsh at all. In fact, this method is probably the one that works the best and quickest. It’s written in a case study format, with some great charts for reference. There are also some great instructions for shifting nap schedules. I think this is the one I will come back to if I run into trouble transitioning my babies to new schedules in the future.

 …………….

So, while going insane with my babies not on any kind of feed/sleep schedule, I scoured the internet and bought these 3 books after reading some Amazon reviews. I believe they pretty decently represent the different schools of thought that are out there (except Sears’ attachment parenting, which I am not interested in). A word of warning: Most of the content of these books can be found on the internet, often even verbatim. I’m sure it’s copyright infringement, as the text is not quoted or cited. I probably could have read enough online to piece together what I needed, but the books definitely lay it out nicer and I feel better that I didn’t “steal”. Ultimately I cobbled together a bit from here and there. I don’t really even know what came from where because I took what made sense to me from different sources and internalized them. I think once you read enough you just start to allow your instincts take over.

The other thing I’ve noticed that really helped with my babies was when became able to find their own sleep positions around 4 or 5 months. Both my babies are stomach sleepers. More often than not, they will find a comfortable position face down sucking on a blanket (Baby Girl), or the two forefingers of his left hand (Baby Boy). And for those of you following my sleep training journey, she’s been good through morning for well over a month now. And they do sleep day/night in side-by-side cribs in the same bedroom. We’ve come a long way from these days. Fellow new MoMs, there is hope!

lunchldyd is mom to 6mo b/g twins and their 3yo big sis, happy to take compliments on her now-well-sleeping twins.

Breastmilk, Meet Formula: Part II

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A while ago, I wrote about starting formula with my until-then exclusively breastfed babies. Three months later, things are evolving again.

Here’s our schedule at nearly 9 months:

7:30-8am – Wake and breastfeed

9am – Breakfast (solids)

10ish-11:30ish – Bottle and Nap

1pm – Sometimes breastfeed, Lunch (solids)

3ish-4ish – Bottle and Nap

5:30pm – Breastfeed

6pm – Dinner (solids)

7:30-8pm – Bottle and Bed

11:30pm, 1:30am, 4:30am, sometimes 6:30am – Breastfeed

It’s pretty great. Except that last bit, where I’m STILL up 3-4x per night. I can’t quite figure it out. M used to sleep 8-12 hours without feeding. R could go at least 6. What happened? Is this a sleep issue (they’ve gotten into the habit of waking and needing a snuggle) or an eating issue (they’re not getting enough during the day and are making it up at night) or a combination of both? It’s not a growth spurt; it’s been going on for weeks. Our pediatrician assures us that they are growing well, staying right on their own curve, and that they certainly could sleep 11-12 hours.

As we approach one year, I know that the boys will gradually drop milk feeds and rely more on solids for nutrition. But which feeds will be dropped? They are already less interested in the mid-day breastfeeding.

I’m faced with what feels like a major decision: Do I prioritize sleep, and make a plan to drop the night feedings? Or do I prioritize breastfeeding?

On the rare night that the boys wake only twice in the night, I feel like a different person. I’m happy, calm, have perspective. On nights I’m up 3, 4, 7 times, I’m thrust back to newborn days all over again – I’m achy and depressed and my mind is in a fog. I’d love to regularly get more sleep, but it means that half the breastfeeds would be cut out. Meanwhile, would my boobs explode in the night? How would it affect my supply? Then there is the whole crying aspect of any kind of sleep modification. Isn’t it easier to just get up and take twenty minutes to soothe rather than to endure seemingly endless minutes of tears?

Then again, it’s not as if breastfeeding isn’t work too. I’m taking domperidone, and despite being assured by a lactation consultant that I would be “overflowing with milk,” I’m not sure it’s making much difference at all. I’m also taking an herbal milk supplement 4x/day. M gets frustrated waiting for let-down, and R has started biting. All the necks of my shirts are stretched out. Sometimes they are too distracted to take a full feeding, which drives me crazy. Other times they are ravenous and I just don’t feel I have enough to satisfy them. I get tired of stripping every time someone is hungry. There are days I want to just stop – go with the order, predictability, and data-friendly formula and close this chapter of mothering. I mean, they have to stop at some point.

Other times, I cling to the connection with my boys, and frankly, the self-righteousness of doing “the best” for them. I love that they are getting the perfect food, and feel horrible guilt that I can’t give them more. It’s such a breeze to be out and be able to feed them without any prep or clean up. I love their cuddles and sweet little milky breath. It isn’t like when they were newborns – I have many other ways to comfort them now – but there is a special peacefulness about it, especially since I’ve stopped tandem feeding and can focus on one little guy at a time.

I could attempt to return to exclusively breastfeeding by one year (over the next three months) by phasing out the formula feedings. Or I could focus on phasing out the night feedings and get some much-needed sleep. Or I could keep doing what we’re doing, take my cues from the boys, and let things evolve naturally. Why does that last one seem so right and yet so hard?!

Anyone successfully transition from formula supplements to exclusively breastfeeding, or vice versa? Do you lean toward guiding their kids through transitions, or are you able to follow their lead?

Sharing a big bed

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After putting our girls to bed for the night two nights ago, my husband and I sat on our bed in our bedroom and watched the newest episode of Psych.  While we did so, the girls talked and played quietly in their room, and we were a little too tired to care about how late it was and that our girls were still awake.

So, after our show was over, I came in to their room to tell them it was high time they actually went to bed.  To my surprise, both of my daughters were on the top bunk.  They wanted to sleep together.  The daughter who was supposed to be sleeping on the bottom bunk had even brought up her pillow and blankets.

And I thought it was adorable!  My girls’ first “slumber party.”  While my girls had from time to time previously tried to convince us that they wanted to sleep together, those nights usually ended up with them just playing and talking and never settling down to go to bed.  So, we’ve often been leery about any desires they have had about sleeping together.  After all, they haven’t shared a bed since they were about 4 months old. 

So, I let my girls both sleep on the top bunk that night.  But, I told them they actually had to sleep, and soon, otherwise, one would have to go on the bottom, as it was very late at night.  And would you believe that they did indeed sleep?

Last night, we put one on top and one on bottom, but after we left the room, both of them were soon on top again.  But, we explained, again, that they actually had to go to sleep, and tonight, much, much sooner than the night before.  We put one at the foot of the bed with her pillow and blankets and the other at the head, and sure enough, soon they were asleep.

I am still amazed that they both want to sleep together.  They haven’t ever been those twins who always have to touch each other, or be near the other to sleep.  But, they understand now that they are twins, that they are different, special.  And I love that.  They do have a special connection.

My question now is how long will this last?  Will they continue to want to share a bed?   And should we have just gotten one twin bed instead of the bunks those few months ago, because it looks like they don’t need two beds now?! 

Did your twins ever share a big bed?  At what ages? For how long?

ldskatelyn is a wife and mother of newly turned three year old fraternal twin daughters, and a newborn son.  She writes all about her life on her blog What’s Up Fagans?

Sleeping Arrangements

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When I was busy nesting during my twin pregnancy, I had visions of both babies peacefully sleeping in their cribs… in the same room. From what I had read, sleeping together is supposed to bring comfort and safety to twin babies, my friends’ babies shared cribs/rooms, and since we only have one room for them, this was the ideal setup. It was fun and exciting, a personal challenge even, to find bedding and decor that were different for our b/g twins, yet still matching. We cleaned out their room, which was an office/storage space before, repainted it, furnished it with two sets of everything, and even put in a nice reclining loveseat. This was an intense undertaking that required the coordination of my energy level, Toddler’s sleep schedule, and Husband’s work schedule spanning several weeks. But the result is a pretty nice nursery, if I do say so myself.

Needless to say, since I am posting this, with a title of “Sleeping Arrangements”, this lovely vision I had has not come to pass. To continue, I must tell their sleep journey thus far.

When they first came home from the hospital, all four of us (Husband, twins, and I– Toddler stayed with grandma for a few days) spent our days and nights on the couch. We have a large sectional, so everybody fit. It was just convenient to have our babies and all our baby stuff on and around the couch while I was still recovering from my c-section and wasn’t all that mobile yet. However, it isn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, so Husband and I agreed on a new arrangement about two weeks in. He could take one baby with him to sleep in the bedroom; Baby Boy was a good choice because he was soon going 9pm-5am. Even Baby Girl was doing just one 4am feed, so this worked well for another month or so.

However, this also meant the twins never had matching schedules. So when Husband went back to work and I had to take both at night, I just fed Baby Boy at 4am when I fed Baby Girl. And this worked fine for a while too. Except, their daytime schedules were still all whacky, which I didn’t mind as much as long as I got enough sleep at night.

Until… we hit a growth spurt about two weeks ago. And they became more interested in their surroundings, so their feeds during the day were getting less and less substantial. Somehow, they got into a vicious pattern of waking each other up and snacking all night long, one at a time. Add whacky sleeping during the day, and we were all cranky, all the time. At over 16 lbs and almost 14 lbs, I KNOW they are more than ready to sleep through the night, doing which would hopefully regulate daytime routines as well.

Three nights ago, I made the sad decision to separate my twins. BB got kicked out and now sleeps in his crib, in the nursery. I had tried to get both to sleep in their room for naps (as I did with Toddler before she went in full time), but even that hasn’t worked out. They woke each other up constantly, even though I run a fan on high for white noise. This is NOT what I envisioned while putting together this beautiful nursery.

So, for my own sanity, I have now fully committed to sleep training these babies. BB has done really well. First night: 9:30-5:30. Second night: 10-6:30. Last night: 8:30-7. For the most part, he can put himself to sleep and stay asleep. BG, on the other hand, needs a lot of work. She’s more sociable, therefore can be easily distracted from hunger and sleep, so it’s often a guessing game what she really needs when she’s cranky. She’s also addicted to her paci for sleeping, waking 3 or 4 times a night for it to be replaced. It’s going to take some heart wrenching screaming for her to be weaned of this bad habit.

I haven’t even begun to work on daytime sleep, but is there ANY hope for both to ever sleep together???

lunchldyd is mom to an almost-3 yr old and 4 month old b/g twins in Los Angeles. She hopes her heart doesn’t break before her babies learn how to sleep.

 

The 4am Feed

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I confess. I am lazy.

That’s the secret to my efficiency. For example, I’ve got the 4am feed down to a 20-minute science. It took some tweaking for the babies to cooperate, but now most days they do. Actually a lot of what I’m doing now is what I did with Toddler, only I had forgotten until I had to rediscover it all over again. So, if you must do a middle-of-the-night feed, here are some tricks I’ve found that work great for me.

First, not part of the efficiency thing, but greatly helpful to set your babies up for sleep, dim the lights down to one very low wattage bulb. I think mine is 10 watts. It sits in the corner of the room farthest away from the babies. The babies get a clean diaper, swaddled, then placed in their spots in the cosleeper. I sometimes play soft music from my iPhone for them (Pandora’s Lullabye station). Then…

1. Feed babies as much as possible before going to bed. In our case, babies load up before sleeping for good, often 6 ounces over a couple of feedings starting at around 9:30pm. They’re usually out by 11pm.

2. Before going to bed, get all bottles and pump accessories for the night/early morning ready. For me, this means putting nipples on and labeling all bottles. I usually have two bottles of formula made also, as backup. All pump flanges and bottles are clean and screwed together, ready to use.

3. Pump one last time and go to sleep at the same time as the babies. It’s tempting to watch a little TV or get things done while they’re asleep, but I’ve noticed they sleep better with me nearby and I really value my own sleep. I’m sometimes already drifting off while they’re still rustling to settle in.

4. Do not get up before they’re supposed to. If they loaded up on milk before going down, they don’t need to be fed until 4am. Usually all I have to do is replace the paci for the rustling baby and they’re back out before they can really wake up. Toddler never took a paci, so I would just jiggle her bassinet a little and she’d go back to sleep.

5. When the time does come to feed, pop a bottle in the mouth of the hungry one and prop it with whatever you have (I use their blankets). Then do the same with the other one, even if he/she is still fast asleep. They’re still swaddled, so no chance of waving arms knocking the bottles out. My babies will eat while asleep and keep sleeping afterwards without even waking up. I also no longer burp or change them (unless there’s poop) in the middle of the night.

6. While they are eating, pump. There’s a way to secure the flanges with the insides of your elbows by resting the bottles on your thighs, so that you can read your iPhone or reprop a bottle  when necessary. When I’m done, babies have finished eating and have probably also fallen asleep. All I have to do is retrieve their bottles. I leave the flanges on the bottles I just pumped, and everything is left on the nightstand until morning.

7. I can usually do this while still half-asleep myself. Sometimes I will get up to drink some water, pee, and read my phone for a bit in bed before sleeping again, but I can just as easily go right back to sleep. My babies will sleep until 9am, if I replace the paci for them a couple of times starting around 7am. I am usually up by 8ish to watch Toddler after Husband leaves for work, so I can get in a pump and have breakfast with her before they wake up.

Another plus to this is, they usually wake at the same time! That means the day starts off with them on the same schedule. It usually doesn’t stay that way, and I’ve given up imposing a strict togetherness, but sometimes they can stay within a half hour of each other all day.

I’m looking forward to them sleeping all the way till morning and taking regular solid naps (Toddler did it before she was their age), but I think this is as good as it gets for a middle-of-the-night feeding (for twins). But I’ll gladly take any other suggestions to streamline things even further!

lunchldyd is mom to an almost 3 yr old daughter and 4 month old b/g twins, taking whatever sleep she can get!

Medium and Happy

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(Leila and Rahul are turning 2 in a few days. They are doing very well, happy and healthy, other than a cold they have been fighting for the last week.  I would like to share something I wrote when they turned one-and-a-half.)

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Rahul and Leila have come a long way since their birth at 31 weeks gestation. At 18 months they have caught up with other children their age physically, emotionally and developmentally.

Leila recently jumped from the 5th to the 10th percentile in weight, and Rahul is steady at the 10th.  In height they are both at the 50th percentile. All in all, according to the charts (which might be slightly different that the US standard ones?), they are light weight children of average height. Not that it means much anymore. Last month I met a five month old baby who weighed as much as Leila. At their NICU there was a baby born at 24 weeks, much tinier than them. Now however, when I see them play amongst toddlers their own age, they merge right in, size-wise as well as ability-wise.

Since they were born a couple of months early it was normal, even necessary to closely monitor their weight gain. Thankfully we have had no serious problems since they left the NICU. They are both running, playing, and talking a lot. They are full of energy.

It’s time for me to let go of the obsessive monitoring. They need a break from being scrutinized and compared. They inevitably get a lot of it just for being twins. They don’t need any more, and especially not from me. In the big picture a little delay here or there is not a big deal. I have noticed that they are eating a little more than before, sleeping a little bit better, and enjoying each other.

I have found that comparing healthy babies growth and development is useless, and even silly. We all do it though. It’s natural. Parents often compare how soon their babies sit up, crawl, start sprouting teeth, walk, and talk in relation to others. Discussing these things with other mums and dads is important, especially for first time parents. It is necessary to follow-up on certain milestone achievements. If a real problem is caught soon enough it could be addressed more effectively.

There is a wide range of normal. I can see that just by having two babies. Leila crawled by 7 months, Rahul started after 9. They both had issues with digestion in the NICU. They digest differently. R has a strong reflux, Leila a poor appetite. Now L eats all the time and R eats only when he can feed himself! They both got their first teeth around the same time. According to Dr. Sear’s “The Baby Book”, when teeth come out is a genetic trait. Speech seems to be a big “issue”, and especially when there is more than one language spoken. We have 3 languages around us, and so far they are both saying words in all.

My brother didn’t speak until he was 2. My grandmother forced my parents to see doctors about this. Neither did he eat. What a catastrophe. My parents were easy-going enough to let him be. When he was ready he spoke and when he was hungry he ate. Now he talks a lot, and eats a lot. He is a professional sportsman, and a big guy. My brother-in-law spoke “late”, but apparently when he did it was in full grammatically correct sentences!

When asked, I usually responded to questions about my children’s age, weight, birth order etc. And then I asked similar questions back. Sometimes I even initiated such dialogues. I knew it was silly, but I needed to hear that Leila and Rahul are smaller than others to validate their experience of early birth, as well as mine being their primary care-giver. It has not been easy with their tiny milk feeds. After birth they wouldn’t drink more than 1 to 3 ml of milk at a time. By 1 year R could take 120ml. But because of his reflux he had to stop and burp every 30 ml. Each feed was drink, burp, drink, burp…  Leila woke up every 2 to 3 hours to drink at night, and still does. Most babies around us sleep through the night and eat comfortably. I couldn’t help comparing.

I was listening to a studio talk by Richard Freeman, an inspiring senior Ashtanga teacher the other day. I am paraphrasing what I understood from it. He said as soon as we realise that our Asana posture is medium, that it could look better, and it could also look worse, there is a release. The pressure dissolves and the breathing starts. It is no longer about having the perfect posture. It is more intrinsic and personal. That’s when the suffering stops and the practice can deepen.

The same goes for size. As soon as we can acknowledge that we are medium, that we could be taller or shorter, fatter or thinner, there is a release. We can move on and think about other things. I once told a close friend that her son was tall. “No” she responded, “he is average height.” Her honesty struck me.

Rahul and Leila are changing all the time, as I am. When I am around them I want to be actually present. I want to encourage them to have fun, and to laugh. They have enough time to follow curriculae and perform in the future. We can all stack 4 blocks and order rings according to size. It makes no difference to me if they can do it now, or in a few months. They are full of love and energy and that is what really matters. I want them to be Medium and Happy.

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Natasha lives in Chengdu, China with her husband Maher. She is mum of  twins Leila and Rahul, and was an Ashtanga Yoga teacher until her little yogis became the teachers. You can find more of her thoughts and stories at Our Little Yogis.

 

Who's In Charge Here?

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The other night, during one of our now typical epic bedtime failures, I started laughing so hard at the scene in front of me, thinking about Super Nanny – I think, at least, it’s her that says this — looking at me and my husband and asking with great disdain, “Who’s in charge here?” The girls were running wild, jumping on their floor beds, throwing themselves against the wall, tossing their Mr. Potato Head parts down the stairs, strangling each other and frantically rocking the large rocking chair while yelling, “Rock! Rock! Rock!!!” It was 9pm and nobody was going to sleep any time soon.

You see, I am a little overwhelmed. Lots of traveling + moving into a new house + a new clingy phase = absolute mayhem around here most days and nights. My girls refuse to sit in their new high chairs or sit down in the bath. They demand me and my lap constantly. They have suddenly begun waking every four hours screaming for bottles that just a month ago were almost completely eliminated from our routine. And as of two weeks ago, the only way I can get them to go sleep is to lie down with one on either side of me and let them flop around for an hour while they slowly settle themselves. I won’t even discuss naps, which occur only while wasting endless gallons of gas in the car.

How did I get here?

After losing a key piece of one crib during our recent move, I took it as a sign (brilliant!) and made a rash decision to abandon the cribs entirely (my girls are 19 months old) and transition to floor beds. Yes, yes, I know: all the HDYDI ladies have strongly recommended against beginning this transition too early. But I liked the Montessori-inspired floor bed idea, and I figured that having the beds to play on during the day would be a treat.

I also figured that giving them a bottle of milk at 6am when they woke would yield two additional hours of sleep for them and me in the morning. Though it worked for two days, my excellent idea has since backfired royally, with the 6am bottle slowly creeping back toward 2am, and a new round of screams/demands for “Babas” occurring at 6:30am. Of course, full wakefulness follows, and I’m now getting far less sleep than I got five months ago. As for their complete refusal to sit in the bath or high chairs and their propensity to hurt/attempt to murder each other every 15 minutes, I am blaming my 18-months-is-the-new-terrible-twos theory.

I know we need to institute some order and calm in our family. I know because I have cried three nights in a row and have poured myself increasingly larger glasses of wine each night after their long protracted bedtime. I know because my husband and I are sniping at each other like we did in those first sleep-deprived weeks/months of their infancy.

I know I need to wean them from their bottles and get them to stop demanding milk meals during the night. I know I need to re-Ferberize them (we did it with great success at 14 months). I know I need to figure out what in the hell I’m doing about their sleeping situation, and commit to these floor beds or find/buy the missing crib part and revert back to cribs.

I pride myself on being a laid-back mom, but somehow in the last few months my relaxed attitude has not served me well. I need to pick my battles and fix something, because many things in this situation are broken.

I think I’m going to start by working on reducing the amount of milk they drink during the night. Baby steps! And I’ll continue to enjoy liberal pours of red wine in the evening and that really great chocolate and tell myself that this, too shall pass. One day I’ll be in charge again!

So how do you all right the ship when it’s gone off course? How do you control the chaos and prevent it from controlling you?

Making the Bed Transition

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Hello, I’m Meredith and this is my first post on HDYDI. My twins, Elizabeth and David, are 16 months old. I consider myself quite the Twin Momma (capital TM) and have all the shirts and coffee mugs to show it off. When it comes to my kids though, I acknowledge I have two very different children that happen to have been born at the same time.

I am a major planner and the thing that has been on my mind lately is planning the kids’ transition out of the crib and into a bed. I know I am still a little early since they are only 16 months old but as I said, I am a planner. I struggle because I also need to separate their bedrooms. Part of it is that they are boy/girl but the bigger part is that the bedrooms are so small in our house, I do not think I can fit two twin size beds into one room.

The logistic side of me says when they are ready to leave the crib and move to a big bed just move their rooms then. I was thinking we take a weekend where the kids can stay at Grandma’s and my husband and I can play musical rooms. Then the kids can be totally surprised and excited about each having their own room with their own stuff and it will be lots of fun.

Then the motherly side of me kicked in. No longer in the safety of their crib, no longer in a room with their sibling, and poor David will be in a completely different room. I worry that it would be a huge shock to their little bodies and no one will sleep for months (I can’t go through that again!).

So far, the best thing I thought of is when the time comes, still take that weekend, play musical rooms but keep one crib in each room. That way each room will contain one twin size bed and one crib. My hope is that that will let them deal with the transition of being apart and get used to their new rooms while still having the comfort (and confinement) of their cribs. Let them be in that arrangement for a few weeks and then start to use the twin bed.

What did you do to transition your children from the crib to the big bed?
Did you separate their rooms?
How old were they when you made these transitions?

The 4:30 a.m. Rule

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On a recent post, Kristen asked about sleep training and multiples. We used, and are continuing to use, sleep training with our 4 year old singleton son and our 2 year old twins. I read Dr. Marc Weissbluth’s Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child before our son was born and it has been our reference book ever since. When our twins were 6 months old, Dr. Weissbluth published a book on sleep and multiples, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins. (I was disappointed with his book on multiples because it didn’t provide as much practical advice as I had hoped. I think the original book has more information on sleep at different ages and on addressing specific problems, so I’d recommend starting with it.)

I can’t specifically remember what was going on at 9 months, but I know we established a sleep routine when the girls were about 6 months old and much earlier with our son. After dinner there would be baths some nights, then pyjamas, breastfeeding, sleep sacks and bed. The girls were used to this routine and settled quickly. They would usually both wake up to feed again before I went to bed. Then they would sleep for a longer stretch, sometimes until morning.

My husband is a night owl, and he would often bring the girls for another feeding before he went to bed. Timing these late night/very early morning feedings was important. If I was awake to feed them after 4:30 a.m. there was no point trying to go back to sleep. I would have slept long enough my body felt rested. I would be hungry enough I couldn’t put off going downstairs for a snack. By the time I was back in bed, I would be too awake to settle to sleep. My mind would start mulling over things, making plans for the day and composing email. I was better off getting up and doing something productive for a few hours before everyone else woke up. Usually I could make up for it with an afternoon nap with the kids.

Unfortunately, on the rare nights when the kids are awake in the night, the 4:30 a.m. rule still applies. If I’m awake, I might as well just get up. In fact that’s why I was up at 5:30 yesterday morning.

Sleep Rules That Saved Us

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Sleep is a big topic at new mothers group meetings. Because there’s nothing worse than sleep deprivation. It wears you down physically, mentally, and emotionally. I remember in the early days with newborn twins thinking what I would give for a good 5-6 hour block of sleep. But I was breastfeeding and needed to be present at each feeding every 2-3 hours.

two weeks old

Tiny and Buba- two weeks old

Months later, I was finally getting larger blocks of sleep, but because my babies still needed a night feeding (due to slow weight gain) it wasn’t until they were almost 9 months old that they were able to sleep through the night. As we embarked on our week of sleep training, my husband and I decided to implement three rules that we’d read from the “experts” or heard about from other parents.

Rule #1: Our Day Starts at 6:30am

This is the time that my husband has to get up to get ready for work, so it made sense to make this our start time. If/when the kids wake up before 6:30am, the are left to amuse themselves until our alarm clock goes off. Most days, they wake up between 6 and 6:30 anyway, so it’s not as though they spend hours in their crib waiting for me to come in and free them. Because this is how it is every single day (yes, even on weekends) they are used to it and quite good at entertaining themselves until morning officially begins. But, of course, it wasn’t always magically like this. In the beginning, there was some crying when I didn’t enter the room the second I heard them stirring. However, with time, they got over it.

Rule #2: Naptime and Bedtime are to be Strictly Observed

We’re pretty rigid with our schedules and routines, so this one was easy for us. We make a point of being at home for naptime everyday and bedtime is always between 7:00 and 7:30pm. Okay, I say always, but there have been a few exceptions. The point is, that unless there is a special occasion, our kids sleep at the same times every day.

Rule #3: The No Intervention Policy

Once we walk out the door, there is no going back in. If I hear crying, I wait it out. At this point, it doesn’t last more than a minute or two, and I’ve found that going back into the room is not as productive as I’d thought it would be. I have also learned that it’s not unusual for either of my kids to cry a little bit in between their sleep cycles, and my going in is actually more disruptive than the crying. Because my kids have shared a room since day one, they are quite used to each other’s noises and most of the time sleep right through them (even if I can’t).

This is what works for us (so far), but I am fully aware that what works for some families doesn’t work for others and for a variety of reasons. So, what works for you? Do your kids sleep like champs or have you had to tweak your sleep rules as your babies have grown to keep everyone well rested?

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reanbean is a stay at home mom to 21 month old boy/girl twins. You can now read more about reanbean, Tiny, and Buba at reanbean.com.