I recently came upon a letter I had written to the good people at the hospital that helped bring Beth and Joshua into this world. It brought back such memories of what our lives used to be like with two babies and a toddler. I miss those days! I was delighted to read the way I described both of them. For one I felt pride that I was able to think of so many differences in the sleep deprived state that I must’ve been when I wrote the letter. Secondly, I could still describe them in very similar ways (tho Beth’s cheeks have mostly disappeared). My only regret is that I did not write a letter like that every few months. How fun it would’ve been to look back on those and share them with the kids when they’re older. I guess I could start now ..

But here it is, for you to read. It is dated December 31st, 2008

Happy New Year!
I know I promised an update of the babies by the end of the year ..just didn’t think I’d be cutting this close. Nevertheless I’m sure you’re happy to hear that they’re doing great. I can’t believe they’re already 4 months! It seems like time goes by so much faster the second time around you have a baby ..or maybe I’m just busier this time around and don’t have the opportunity to focus on their every accomplishment?
Joshua is a great sleeper!! I was totally prepared not to sleep well for the first 6 months (since that’s how it was with Nathan) but he was about 2.5months when he started sleeping 6hrs/night. Now he often times sleeps for 8hrs without eating (and I have one engorged breast in the morning). He loves to linger on the breast for as long as possible. And every single time (no matter how long it has been) he’s heartbroken when he has to unlatch. Beth on the other hand is very efficient and quick feeder. She also likes to nurse during night at least twice. She used to be the one who easily slept in until 9am while Joshua got up early and watched Nathan and I play. 2 weeks ago they switched parts. They also seem to have gone from being on a similar awake/sleep rhythm to completely opposite during last week. While I enjoy having more time with them individually I hope they get back on track soon. I usually tandem nurse them once or twice a day to try to set them ‘right’ but sometimes it doesn’t work. ..Joshua’s heart murmur is gone. Beth spits up SO much, all the time. Joshua is very relaxed and easy going. He smiles so big it makes us cry. He’s absolutely adorable (and we still consider him our most beautiful child). Beth is more social and seems happiest when she is part of ‘something’. She likes to be held facing the action, being carried around and being played with. Joshua is the opposite. He loves to curl up in a tiny ball in our arms and make him self ‘invisible’ in the hopes that we’ll ‘forget’ about him and never put him down. In the morning when we pick Beth up she immediately starts babbling and gesturing with her hands like she’s wanting to catch up from where we left off the night before. Just adorable! Her smile comes easily and is super cute, partly because her mouth is so tiny and she’s got big cheeks!
I think they are developing just fine even if they seem to be behind Nathan by quite a few weeks. And Joshua seems younger than Beth in many regards. But they are adorable!! And they are a lot of work!! Sometimes we’re not sure in which order!! We ‘specially love the times when they seem to cry for no apparent reason ☺ They feed off of each other. And it’s even more fun when Nathan freaks out and starts crying too. There have been couple times when I join them. But mostly they are a lot of fun.
My carpal tunnel is still bothering me and I seem to have muscle atrophy from it. I’ll be seeing a doctor about it in January. Completely suck ☹ but it could be much worse, at least I can change diapers now without loosing all the feeling in them … the endless amounts that we go through every day! So that’s about it. Thank you for the roles you played in getting the babies safely to this world. We are trying to do our very best in raising them.
Wishing you a wonderful year of 2009!

What kind of memories do you have from when the babies were young? Did you write down their milestones or is it all a blur? (I recently had to fill out paperwork about their development and drew a complete blank on too many questions .. felt like an awesome mom).

Hanna and her husband live around Boston with their still ‘adorable and lot of work’ 4 yr old twins and 5 yr old big brother. And they still think they’re mostly fun!

I don’t like to go to see a dentist. I used to start crying as I walked in to the office. I think I got traumatized when I got my 2 wisdom teeth pulled twenty some years ago. But because of the awesome mom I try to be I was determined to make sure the word ‘dentist’ did not mean ‘time to freak out’ in my childrends’ minds. I took it upon me to brush their teeth twice a day, train them to love carrots and apples as snacks (which they totally do) and feed them 100% xylitol after meals.

I was going to do things right but when I heard the recommendation is to take a child in when they turn 1 I rolled my eyes. So we skipped that first year. When Nathan turned 2 I also decided to skip the dentist because it still seemed very unnecessary. The next year I took him, actually all three of them.

I had found a pediatric dentist office with a train table, DVD player and all kinds of other fancy toys that we didn’t have at home. I imagined the kids would play while I took them one by one to the back room for a ‘quick and easy’ check up. Oh boy was I wrong..

Nathan refused to open his mouth. I tried prying it open with my fingers until the dentist lady kindly suggested that it was probably enough and I should consider taking him to a place where they can ‘knock him out’. In the mean time Beth and Joshua were running between the play room to the back room and then back, completely ignoring my ‘stop running at this minute or there will be trouble’ looks. When it was their turn to have a turn they had seen enough example from Nathan and knew what to do. No one was going to count their teeth either.

When I lurked my way out of the office I was sweaty, frustrated and decided this was the last time they’d see me. I was going to wait until my kids understood what was expected and I was going to find a place where ‘knocking them out’ wasn’t the first recommendation.

Last month I took Nathan to see a dentist again. This time to an office with no train table and only a few toys to play with in a corner.
I had started to talk to him about going to a dentist few months back saying ‘when you turn 5 it’s time to go and see a dentist’. During the weeks we talked what the dentist would do this his teeth: count them, clean them, tickle and poke them. He’d sit in a chair that moved like Daddy’s machines and there would be a bright light and he’d get to wear some awesome looking protection glasses. He was excited.

The day came and he did great! Slightly nervous but no refusal to co-operate, even if he wasn’t ‘knocked out’ . I was very nervous of what they’d find because I had *gasp* not followed the recommended dentist schedule and I was certain if they talked to me sternly about its importance I’d break down in tears. At the end there were no cavities (or tears), the dentist lady was sweet to tell me I had done a great job brushing and flossing his teeth and to keep up the good work. Beth and Joshua did great waiting in the ‘kid corner’ and were devastated when they realized they didn’t get a turn (or at least the cool sticker that Nathan got). Afterwards we all went for ice cream and talked about the sugar bugs we were going to brush away as soon as we got home.

Now that’s a visit I look forward to duplicating!

How did you go about the ‘schedule’ and how did you get your kids to behave?

Spring is around the corner and this is the most exciting time of the year for my frugal family–consignment sale and yard sale season! I have been faithfully consignment shopping and yard sale-ing for my family for over 8 years now (my husband calls it an addiction) and have come up with some tips and tricks that might help you find the best deals.
Before shopping, think ahead to what your children might need for the upcoming year: rain boots, jackets, snow boots, hats, mittens, sunhats, and items that could be put together for Halloween costumes all make great deals.
Other ideas to consider: You may have an infant now, but will you or your child want to play with Trains, Legos, Duplos, Puzzles, Board Games or other “classic” toys down the road? If you see them at a consignment sale or yard sale for a great price, buy it now to put away for later. Sometimes you can find toys and games still in the original packaging that you can put away for gifts.
Now is the time to Plan for Consignment Sales and Yard Sales
Most Parents of Multiples clubs will be having a consignment sale which is a great way to make a quick bit of cash on last year’s outgrown clothes and those toys that were holiday “misses.” Check with your local group for information on how to participate in their next sale. Often you can volunteer in exchange for shopping before the sale opens to the public, and/or receive a better rate of return on the items you are selling. Because they sell only infant or children’s items and sometimes maternity clothes, they are usually well organized and target what you might need with young children.
Some cities host consignment sales that are open to the public, but be prepared to pay to sell or pay to shop. There is a wide variety of children’s merchandise, but I often find (in my area) that sellers overprice items to recoup the costs involved.
Yard sales are a great way to find toys, clothes, sports equipment and other odds and ends that your children need without breaking the bank. However, there is a little bit of skill, as well as a lot of luck needed to be successful:

• Search multiple sources for listings. Craigslist is a great resource, as well as your local paper. However, some of the best yard sales I have found have been just driving up and down the main residential roadways looking for signs.

• Look for multi-family or neighborhood sales to get the most variety in items for very little time and effort.

• If you are shopping for kids clothing, know your brands. If you know an Old Navy 4T shirt costs between $7-9 in the store on sale, and as low as 3.99 on clearance, then don’t pay $4 for it at a yard sale! Shoot for between .50 cents to $1 a piece for baby/toddler clothes and $5-8 a pair for shoes. Be ready to bargain, especially if you are buying more than one item. Name brand clothes will command higher prices, but still less than the consignment sales.

• When at a yard sale, have a price in your head that you are willing to pay and walk away if the item is priced too high and the seller won’t bargain. Things to keep in mind: Wood toddler beds generally go for around $40. Dollhouses sets complete with furniture and dolls–$25. Hannah Anderson play dresses between $10-15. Anything Playmobil is a bargain if it is less than $20. Thomas, Brio and other train sets range from $10-25. Books and videos are one of the best bargains at a yard sale with books ranging from $.25-1.00 and DVD’s for $1.00-5.00.

Do you use consignment sales or yard sales to save money with multiples?

Leslie H. is a freelance writer and parent to three children who grow like weeds–justifying the hours spent yard sale-ing each spring. It is a sport.

I don’t know about you, but winter is not my best parenting season. Wintertime brings longs nights and little sleep as my children suffer from colds, or are feeling cold and need help covering up with blankets. Winter brings short days with little sunshine, no recess due to the weather, and lots of sibling bickering. In winter we try to recover our pre-holiday routines, start our goals for the new year, and no one is interested–not even me. It is a struggle.

Each year I seem to forget this sluggish season in my parenting life and am surprised when it returns. I am tired, I have no new ideas, I am not patient. I’ve forgotten everything in my bag of tricks. It is hard to find ways to fill up my bucket, and renew myself, so I can give the kids the time and attention and love that we all need. I long for warm weather, time outside, the next season.

So we muddle through. I schedule one-one-one activities with each child. Pulling one child aside to go to the grocery store counts. Even going so far as to get one twin a playdate so I can have lunch at McDonald’s with the other. Going to the park and freezing, I mean, playing. Giving my undivided attention.

I am a big believer in the theory of “floor time”. When the after school bickering is too much I drop what I am doing–usually cooking the next meal for hungry children–to facilitate a quick game of Zingo Bingo, to sit on the floor with a wronged child and listen to a litany of complaints, to separate the older girl from the boys for a few minutes breather before joining her to brush American Girl hair and listen to her day. We all have the wintertime blues.

We try to cope. We make plans for the spring. We look at gardening books from the library and catalogs in the mail. We buy a few houseplants and make a bird feeder from a milk carton. We take quick bike rides around the block looking for the first flowers and trees to bud. We count down the days until spring.

Do you parent differently in the winter than you do in the warmer months?

Leslie H. is a freelance writer and parent to a spunky eight-year-old girl and two adventurous four-year old boys.

Traveling with small children is tough for every family. Oh how I have dreaded flying with twinfants–you know what I mean!

Our family recently made a two day January car trip through flat prairies land as far as the eye can see, and we have more travel coming up this spring. While we prefer to drive over fly with three kids (and their stuff, and their carseats), and our kids are older, it doesn’t get any easier. We have tried everything to entertain the kids: new books and toys; games and candy; lots of stops at McDonald’s. In the end, we fall back on handheld game devices and DVD players–all three kids playing on watching with headphones means peace for the driver. Extremely bad parenting according to the experts in the books, magazines and websites. But I’m want to absolve you of all the guilt and tell you to do what you need to do to get to your destination safely–with your sanity intact!

As my kids get older, it becomes almost as much about the journey as the destination. At the end of the trip, while we all emerge from the crumb encrusted car tired and frazzled and sick of each other’s company, I can’t help but notice that there has been some bonding between siblings–some good has come from the hours on the road. An “we’ve been through this together” camaraderie. A “remember when we saw the giant airplane wings on the back of the truck…” reminiscence that continue to be discussed for hours as we drive. My husband and I join in with our memories of long car trips as kids: when there were no DVD players or ipods or carseats(!), when you could ride backwards in a station wagon or sleep on the floor of a sedan, where stopping for a bite to eat was not convenient as it is today and was always an adventure.

I think these trips form the foundation of our children’s lives and become part of our family history together. I end up being grateful for the excuse to to travel, grateful for the hours on the road, grateful for the whining, and the bad food, and the “he’s looking at me” and the “are we there yet” statements. I’m grateful once we are all out of the car!

How does your family handle car trips?

Leslie H. is a freelance writer to a spunky eight-year-old girl and two adventurous four-year-old boys.

When my identical twin boys were born, we brought them home to sleep in cute little bassinets. Our three bedroom home had no room for cribs and they were happy and content.

I now understand why January is full of messages of lighter living and organization. Our family has had a great winter holiday! Rich food weighs us down, sleeping-in and late night fun put our kids off bedtime schedule, we have great new toys to explore, and enjoyed family visits. But all this fun has wrecked havoc on our lives and bodies–is there such a thing as too much fun? My house is a giant “before” picture. But now we are back to real life–back to school, work and schedules. Time to set some goals:

1). Eat right;
2). Exercise;
3). Keep the house cleaner;
4). Cook nutritious meals.

Same resolutions every year that fall by the wayside in February. Try again:

1). Cure picky-eater-ness;
2). End sibling bickering;
3). Enforce good table manners.

Now I’m just dreaming.

I have so much to learn in 2012. Starting with striving to make our mornings smoother. I have schedules posted all over the house, bans on T.V. during the week, and when I am really on my game–both breakfast and lunch made before the kids get up. Yet every morning it feels like a race to the finish with a lot of cajoling to get everyone out the door. It makes for a stressful start of the day and I wish I could figure out what key ingredient I am missing to fix the situation.

Next, I need to learn how to take my kids (all with different skill levels) biking safely: an 8-year-old with a brand new mountain bike, a 4-year-old daredevil on a balance bike and a hesitant 4-year-old on a trike who longs to catch up with the other two but is not confident enough to try. If you can imagine me running around the neighborhood after this crew, dodging speeding cars, then you can understand my need for a new plan.

Finally, I need to figure out new and interesting ways to teach my boys their letters and numbers. They attend a fabulous play-based preschool and are learning social skills everyday and kindergarten requirements somewhat by osmosis. However, September is fast approaching and while we have a great (but competitive) elementary school, I feel the need to catch them up a bit so they go into kindergarten as prepared as any other kid.

What this really comes down to is learning how to accept and thrive in the challenge of:

1). how to be a great parent to an 8-year-old girl and two four-year-old (almost five!) boys;
2). learning how to balance the talents, needs, and desires, of everyone in the family so that my husband and I can reach our full parenting potential.

My goals all relate back to one thing “I” need to accomplish for success in my family. So I have chosen a word of the year to help me keep it all in the front of my mind: LEARN. I need to learn new skills in both parenting and time management in order to be a great parent this year and fulfill my goals. Do you have new year’s goals for yourself or your family?

Leslie H. is a freelance writer and parent to three great kids (two happen to be twins).

I fully admit, I am not as far along in my holiday shopping as I had expected. This is new to me, as in years past I am generally finished early, adding a few Black Friday deals as icing on the cake. I swore that this year I would buy the boys each different toys that suited their personalities, and then I caved, or was caved, by the Imagintext Batcave.

As my boys approach five, I am torn between buying them the same gifts as I have done in years past, or buying slightly different ones that can be played with together. It starts as twinfants by well meaning family and friends who buy two crinkly toys, two bouncers, two walkers, and moves on thru the toddler years where two ride on toys become a necessity to prevent their fighting and Mom’s headaches. I had hoped that this year I could follow their interests (helicopters and police cars for one and batman and spiderman for the other) and buy them individual gifts instead of treating them as a unit, but as much as I hope this would work, I must admit defeat. While only one boy is interested in the batman Imagintext products, they will both be receiving them because they are just too super cool to just have one in the house. Jealousy would abound.

I do pat myself on the back for purchasing complimentary Playmobil pieces: an ambulance, a police car, and a plane for big sister. I know that many hours of imaginative play await. And since I’m not quite done with my shopping, I am open to any and all ideas for imaginative, creative gifts for almost five-year-old boys.

Lest you think our holiday plans are all toy related, I leave you with an image of a recent crafting session. As my kids get older, crafting gets more “doable”–projects are completed successfully and with less mess. Here we are making salt dough decorations. The recipe is simple and very similar to homemade playdough:

1 cup flour
1/2 cup salt
1/2 cup water

Stir to combine. Roll out on a floured surface, cut shapes, be sure to poke a hole for stringing. Bake at 250 degrees for two hours. Enjoy!

How do you manage gifts for your multiples?

Leslie H. is a freelance writer and mom to a spunky 7-year-old girl and police and ambulance and batman loving four-year-old twins.

Thanksgiving is time to count our blessings. My heart is full of the gifts all my children have given me. I am especially thankful to have been given the gift of multiples. Having two kids at one time has stretched our family in new ways that we have never thought possible. I will fully admit–and friends will agree–that I was a not myself during the newborn days with twins an a three-year-old. But as the kids get older and relationships change, I am able to look back with pride and nostalgia for all that we have accomplished together, growing as a family, as well as look forward to fun years ahead.

In the book, “One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are,” author Ann Voskamp encourages readers to look beyond the day to day grind of lives and to keep a counting of our blessings. These three children have given my husband and I so much to be thankful for–my heart is full. A recent counting of my families’ blessings include:
The ability to walk my older daughter and her friends to and from school. Pickups that become huge playdates with friends and their siblings

Legos and polly pockets and imagination games that all three can play

Loving the old dog

Boys and dog in the stroller

Halloween and Holidays. Busy-ness and slowing down. Time flies

The ability to stay at home these beginning years and trying every day to remember to enjoy each minute

Wanting, needing, demanding time with Daddy, especially when it involves hitting golf balls or hammering nails

Kids Meetings (where they scurry away to have discussions and usually involve filched treats like potato chips or candy). I try to be mad because I think I *should* but it is just so cute!

“Mommy, I need to be outside, or I’m just going to die!” My nature-centric kids

That twins and an older sibling play together, love each other, need their time together without Mom or Dad interfering

From our family to yours, wishing you a heartful Thanksgiving Season.

Leslie H. is freelance writer and mom to a spunky seven-year-old and rambunctious four-year-old twin boys.