Thanksgiving is time to count our blessings. My heart is full of the gifts all my children have given me. I am especially thankful to have been given the gift of multiples. Having two kids at one time has stretched our family in new ways that we have never thought possible. I will fully admit–and friends will agree–that I was a not myself during the newborn days with twins an a three-year-old. But as the kids get older and relationships change, I am able to look back with pride and nostalgia for all that we have accomplished together, growing as a family, as well as look forward to fun years ahead.

In the book, “One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are,” author Ann Voskamp encourages readers to look beyond the day to day grind of lives and to keep a counting of our blessings. These three children have given my husband and I so much to be thankful for–my heart is full. A recent counting of my families’ blessings include:
The ability to walk my older daughter and her friends to and from school. Pickups that become huge playdates with friends and their siblings

Legos and polly pockets and imagination games that all three can play

Loving the old dog

Boys and dog in the stroller

Halloween and Holidays. Busy-ness and slowing down. Time flies

The ability to stay at home these beginning years and trying every day to remember to enjoy each minute

Wanting, needing, demanding time with Daddy, especially when it involves hitting golf balls or hammering nails

Kids Meetings (where they scurry away to have discussions and usually involve filched treats like potato chips or candy). I try to be mad because I think I *should* but it is just so cute!

“Mommy, I need to be outside, or I’m just going to die!” My nature-centric kids

That twins and an older sibling play together, love each other, need their time together without Mom or Dad interfering

From our family to yours, wishing you a heartful Thanksgiving Season.

Leslie H. is freelance writer and mom to a spunky seven-year-old and rambunctious four-year-old twin boys.

Thanksgiving is a struggle in my family. Actually, as much as I want to be one of those “family dinner” moms, I have to admit that getting everyone to sit down and eat is one of the worst parts of my day. My kids try hard, but they are so excited to chat with each other, they have ideas, they bounce up and down to write notes, get toys, giggle and tell jokes that there isn’t a whole lot of eating. I have to put on my “mean mommy” voice just to get enough dinner into them so they are not hungry later. And this is all ten times worse when my husband makes it home for dinner–they are so excited to see him that they can’t concentrate. Remember, my twins are four and my older one is seven, and yes I am appalled just writing this!

Living in the D.C. metropolitan area, with family along the I-95 corridor, the thought of slugging through Thanksgiving traffic to a sit down meal is exhausting–especially with kids who can’t just sit and eat. I am aware of the whole purpose of the holiday–passing on tradition, visiting family, teaching manners and values. However, our whole meal will be filled with cajoling the kids to sit down, try your food, no you can’t get up yet. Two hours of cooking will be over in 20 minutes and I usually end up with a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t want my kids to grow up thinking Thanksgiving is the holiday full of food they don’t like; where they have to sit still and eat without fuss. That’s no fun.

A hike with Big Sister leading the way, as always

So this year we’ve given ourselves permission to take the holiday “off”. We plan to be tourists in our own city–swapping museums and monuments for Macy’s parades and football games. I will cook the usual Thanksgiving foods the day before and have a casual meal of leftovers after the kids go to bed, exhausted after seeing the sites. This plan sounds relaxing and more along the lines of our family’s values–having fun, active, learning experiences together. Yes, we are still reading Thanksgiving books, doing turkey crafts, making the requisite Native American feather headband, and hopefully my kids will learn that Thanksgiving is a fun day for our family no matter how we celebrate it.

How do you celebrate Thanksgiving with multiples?

Leslie H. is a freelance writer and mom to a spunky seven-year-old girl and adventurous four-year-old twin boys.

Since (American) Thanksgiving is celebrated this week, I thought it would be a good time to have a theme week celebrating the blessings that come with having multiples. Please share your blessings with us this week, too.

I know many bloggers are writing about what they are thankful for this month, so I’m offering you the first part of my list of 30 Blessing I’ve Received From My Twins

1. Two lovely daughters
2. Lots of kisses and cuddles for me
3. Watching how my 2.5 year old daughters care about and look out for each other
4. A constant reminder to be aware of what makes each person unique
5. The opportunity to reflect on my parenting decisions and how they reflect my values
6. Becoming part of a community of parents of multiples online and in person
7. Plenty of requests for reading stories
8. Seeing how easily children adapt to multiples.  They are way less concerned about how they were conceived, or which ones is older than their parents.
9. Lessons in patience and perspective
10. Only having to narrow our name choices down to the top two
11. Lots of helpers in the kitchen
12. A constant reminder to look at people when I talk to them
13. A son who enjoys “the sister” and “the other sister” even though he can’t tell them apart.  He wants to have 2 more baby sisters (but I think we’ve got our hands full).
14. Opportunities to be an advocate for my children and to demonstrate through my actions that their uniqueness as individuals and as multiples is important
15. Lots of great stories to share

I have just finished up my season of busy-ness for the year. From July to the end of October I race from one volunteer project to another at my children’s schools as well as manage the start of school, the start of sports, the start of extra curricular activities. And while I have been a parent to my children while working on these projects, I admit I haven’t been 100% “there”. My kids have changed in subtle and definitive ways over the past three months. There are new versions of old pretend play games, a brand new interest in puzzles that they can all work on together, learning to pump on the swings. One of my boys can now put his shoes on by himself at school, but I have let him whine to me about “not being able to do it” at home. I did not realize he had these new skills, and let us both take the easy way out.

So as I look up and around at the end of being busy, wondering what to do with myself now that my life is calm again, I want to step back and appreciate how both my kids and I have grown and changed in the last few months. I’ve learned that I need a big project that is outside of the home and work each year to help keep my sanity. I’ve learned that stepping back and letting the kids figure things out on their own is beneficial to all–they’ve absorbed some new habits and skills and are now ready to learn more.

My season of busy might not look like yours. Remember, I’m a freelancer with four year old twins and an older girl who is seven. I have lived through other times of busy and have survived–newborn twins and a three year old; the grind of constant feedings and diaperings; colic and acid reflux times two;  potty training; and homework with two whirlwind toddlers riding on trucks. But as my children grow, also our needs change, and I’m learning to adapt and relish the moment, they would rather play with each other now with no involvement from me. Another mom blogger mentioned that instead of focusing on busy, she is “enjoying the abundance”. I like that. I want to learn to enjoy the abundance.

When my kids were small, other moms of multiples swore to me that it would get easier when they were older, and that I would miss these crazy moments–I never believed them at the time, but now I’m getting a bit nostalgic. Another mom blogger mentioned that instead of focusing on being busy, she is “enjoying the abundance.” I like that. I want to learn to enjoy the abundance of this stage of my kids and our lives.

How do you handle a season of busy?

Leslie H. is a freelance writer and parent to an amazing seven year old girl and adventurous four year old twins.

A number of you appreciated Rachel’s thoughts on her twin pregnancy, so I thought you would be happy to hear that the babies have arrived, healthy, whole and beautiful. Rachel was 37 weeks pregnant yesterday, and 37 was the magic number.

Rebekah Helen weighed in at 6lbs 15oz, and Robert James at 7lbs 3oz.

Nursing is already going well.

Remember the song, “Three is a magic number,” from School House Rock? Yes, I was a child of the 80’s. Well three is a magic number in our household…sometimes. This summer my 4 year old fraternal twin boys have achieved what my 7 year old daughter has been waiting for her entire life: the ability to pretend play. And while it has had moments of sheer mommy bliss–with all three playing together nicely–the majority of their time together has not been successful. Screams of “I’M NOT YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE!” abound.

Playing Polly Pockets Together

My daughter has learned that she can only really play well with one brother at a time–meaning someone is always left out. I have tried letting the three of them problem solve on their own, family meetings, and on-the-spot play intervention and facilitation with only  glimmers of success. We have tried separation where one twin gets special mommy or daddy time and my daughter gets one-on-one time with a brother. This works once we get it started but all three kids view the initial separation as punishment.

To top it off, my daughter H and one twin, A, are very similar in interests and athletics and play well together. Recently, my twin E had his tonsils out. My daughter H felt so bad about it that she wanted to play with him, and only him, for days–causing a crisis for A, because he is usually the preferred playmate. E basked in the glow of sisterly love but was dumped as soon as he started feeling better. Breaks my heart.

Both boys idolize their big sister and I know she adores them as well. She loves to help them when we are out and about, swimming with one at a time at the pool; helping them climb at the park. They get along better outside of the house than in.

School has started, and they desperately miss each other as constant summer companions. The boys NEED their playtime with their big sister in a way I have never seen before. Big sister loves to play with them, but after a day of school, also needs some time by herself to decompress, leading to hurt feelings and misunderstandings. So, three is not quite the magic number in our house. How are you handling issues with twins plus an older or younger sibling?

Leslie H. is a stay at home mom to an amazing seven year old girl and two adventurous 4 year old boys.

Growing up my childhood hero was Anne of Green Gables. Her emphasis of imagination influenced my own twin sister and me to conjure up whole afternoons, whole summers, of endless games to play. It’s been important to me that my boys (who are granted only nearing 2) are encouraged to do the same. Sometimes this seems harder than it sounds- does anyone else fear that imagination seems a little by the wayside in a world of toys that practically play for you?  After getting the boys pretend cell phones (as they aren’t allowed to play with real ones) I had initial buyers remorse as the phone had one sided conversations with itself and the boys listened, silently mesmerized. Then I realized they enjoyed the phone’s counting and number games, but still used their play kitchen’s bananas, musical maracas, and often just their hands to have “telephone” conversations constantly.

More recently they have a developed a new fascination that has inspired their creativity. We are usually the first ones to reach the playground in the morning and often the park crew is there getting the things ready for the day. This means the boys have met their new childhood hero: the man with the leaf blower.

Hurricane Irene upped the ante when the park crews were constantly using wood chippers, cherry pickers, and those ubiquitous leaf blowers to clear paths and downed trees in the park. The boys were happy viewers of all the excitement and then decided to join in.

While I was sweeping away one day in the kitchen the boys figured out how to remove the handles on the kiddie brooms I had given them. Ren took his handle and started patrolling the living room with the loudest sound I’ve ever heard him emit. Rrrrrreeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh! Rrrrrrrrehhhrrreeeehhhhhhhhhhh! Sam stood in shock for a few seconds then quickly followed suit. RRRRRRREEEHHHHHHHH times 2. I worried the neighbors might complain, I worried child services might show up to investigate the outrageous sounds coming from our apartment. Were they crying? Was this some kind of whining on steroids? Then I realized they were doing spot on imitations of those men with leaf blowers. Wow.

This game doesn’t seem to get old either. They run for those broom handles right away when they wake up. At 6AM. RRRRRReehhhheeeehhheeehhh. We have put a moratorium on early morning toddler landscaping for obvious reasons. On our recent family trip there were no broom handles around. Sam grabbed our dog’s tennis ball launcher and set in clearing those pesky imaginary leaves off the furniture. Ren found a swiffer mop in a closet that apparently fit the bill, and blew away imaginary debris out from under the coffee table (here is link to my blog with a video of the boys leaf blowing).

I could relax, as imagination is clearly alive and well around here. What have you discovered that sparks your twins’ imaginations?

When my husband and I quit our jobs and relocated so that he could go to grad school, we became a one car family. That car was a black ’97 grand am, which wasn’t too bad for a childless couple, but quickly became overcrowded when our first son entered the world one year later.
 A few months after he was born, an act of God happened and we were gently plowed into by the city bus. Our car was totaled and with the money from the insurance we were able to get a Ford Focus Wagon. Upgrade! (Only a mom would think a wagon was an upgrade).

Fast forward one year later, we are expecting twins and have now outgrown our Focus and our new to us ‘00 Jeep. How do you fit three car seats across the back of on row of seats? Trust me; we tried every combination possible and even if we could fit all three seats, the mechanics of getting a kid into the middle would be impossible. There was no way around it; a van was our future.

Did we deserve a brand new Swagger Wagon (Toyota Sienna), you bet! But a car payment on a new pimped out minivan wasn’t realistic for tight budget. We were fortunate enough to find a pretty sweet mini-van that had all the swag of the Sienna, but at a third of the price. However, we learned pretty quickly that there is no perfect car. We had hoped to be able to take out a captain’s chair so we could easily get to the back seat, but because of side air bags the seat didn’t come out.

The car situation can be a major financial burden on families with multiples, especially when your family increases a lot quicker than you anticipated. Once you find the right vehicle, then you’ve got to plan for how your kids will safely ride. It seems impossible to find car seats in stores that you can fit three in a row across the back seat of a car, but with a measuring stick and patience, it can be done if needed.

Now that you’ve got your new ride and the kids strapped in, where do you put the stroller? I was quite depressed when I learned that the luxury limo style double stroller with every option possible (except for how to transport all three of my 3 under 2) takes up my entire trunk. Finding the right stroller can eat your budget up fast. After the twins were born I had at least six different strollers at my house and none of them suited my needs.

It’s easy to waste a lot of money searching for a solution to multiple child transportation. Here are some things I have learned along the way that will hopefully help save you some cold hard cash:

• You don’t have to have a brand new Honda Odyssey; try to make what you already have work before you go car shopping and look for used gems with similar features.
• Buy car seats that have a small base and can be used for a variety of ages. Sunshine Radian car seats have a small base and can be used rear facing and forward facing.
• Pimp out existing equipment that you already own. Stroller connectors are great for connecting umbrella style strollers and they only cost around $12. This is a really great option of you have twins and an older or younger child. We made our son a sidecar on the twins double stroller, he loved it.
• Go to consignment stores; check Craigslist, and Ebay to find deals on used equipment. *Only buy car seats from someone that you trust, if a car seat has been in an accident it is no longer safe to use.
• Join your area mothers of multiples club and find out if they have a consignment sale.
• Not everything has to match. If you have to have your gear “go together” try coordinating colors or look online for handmade seat covers.
• Give up the dream of owning the perfect stroller, it doesn’t exist.
• Be realistic about how often you will be going out and about. Does your usage justify the cost?
• Consign or sell what isn’t working or what you don’t want to use anymore and roll it into other baby costs.

 How have you saved when it came time to pimp your ride?

Jamie is the mini van rocking mama to three lively boys, big brother age 2 and identical twins age 6 months. Check out Jamie’s blog and podcast, The Playdate Crashers. 

What is going on with my little fella? He has turned into a needy emotional mess overnight. If I leave the room, if I look at his sister, if I talk to his dad or his nanny,  I get an earful. At first it was endearing; my little boy really into his mum. Now its driving me batty! Give me a break, kid. He does have an infection where he had his MMR injection last week (that’s another post!). I wonder if it hurts him and makes him this little monster? Or is it teething.

Or maybe this is who he is. Have you ever thought about not liking the personality of your kids? I think parents of teenagers would laugh at the question but as a parent to twins I wonder about this. I wonder what life would be like if for some reason I naturally gravitated to one twin over the other. Of course when I ask my twinnie friends about this they laugh. Of course you will gravitate to one twin over the other, they say,  then the next hour it’ll reverse. This is the course of being a twin mum.

What’s your experience with your multiples?