We went to do some grocery shopping at Sam’s Club the other day and there was a mother there pushing around a double stroller with two young babies in it – twin boys! I commented on how cute her twins were as we passed.
And I didn’t know if I should say more, as a fellow mother of twins. Did I have to say more? Did I have to tell her that my daughters, who were with me at the time, were actually twins too? Should I?
I know that when my girls were infants, I certainly received a lot of advice and comments from strangers about twins, often from others who also had twins. They would often tell me, “It gets better.” And they are right. It does get better each year, as your kids start to not need you so heavily.
But, I don’t get as many comments from strangers anymore. I think it has to do mostly with the fact that strangers don’t immediately recognize that my twins are twins. They may both be girls, but they look nothing alike other than they are the same size. And they rarely wear matching clothes anymore.
And, to be honest, I sometimes miss the attention that I received when my twins were babies.
There is something unique about being a mother to twins or other multiples. We join a special club that the vast majority of people will never be a part of, despite some who say that their two kids, 15 months apart, were just like having twins. The fact is we carried two or more babies inside of us at one time. Our kids have the same birth day. They are unique, and so are we as their mothers and fathers.
So, as a member of this relatively small group of people, should we go out of our way to talk to those who are like us? Do you? Do you seek advice from other Mothers of Multiples (MOMs), who are have passed the stage you are at? Do you feel the urge and desire to reach out to those who you meet randomly, who are toting infant twins? And what do you say in those moments?