Christian Parenting Handbook

Over at my blog this week I had the privilege of being apart of a “Launch Week” for a new parenting book called The Christian Parenting Handbook: 50 Heart-Based Strategies for All the Stages of Your Child’s Life by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller R.N.

I received a free copy of the book and in return gave an honest review of the book.  You can see my full review HERE on my blog.  But, I have to say, it’s a great resource for all parents, even if you aren’t Christian.  So, that’s why I thought I would tell all you HDYDI readers about it, too!  It’s great for all parents because it focused on long-term goals with your children.  It emphasizes the heart of your child and helping them develop character qualities, and how to strengthen their character flaws.  The book addresses controversial topics and issues like spanking, helps you understand the difference between things like discipline and punishment, and does so in a non-judgmental way.  It’s not a “do-it-my-way-or-else” parenting book.  It gives you guiding principles and examples.  It shares the “how” of  Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. 

I’ve applied some of the principles and ideas taught in it with my twin three year-olds and it has made a difference.  Most of the difference made in our home from reading this book has been in how I approach my parenting and discipline.  We’ve been happier because of it.

As I am part of the launch team of this book, I have the privilege of giving away a copy of this book and its companion guide!  You can enter to win it over on my blog HERE.  I hope you will!  There aren’t that many entries yet, so the odds are in your favor!  Yeah!

I also want to let you know that the publishers of the book are hosting a Mega Multi-Blogger Giveaway (no purchase necessary) where you can enter for a chance to win some awesome prizes, including an iPad and $200 Amazon gift card!  Feel free to enter that HERE.

And finally, if you buy a copy of the book this week, they will give you $400 worth in additional resources for FREE!  But you have to buy a copy before Sunday at midnight.  Unfortunately, since they’ve been pushing so hard this week, everybody is sold out of physical copies of the book except for the National Center for Biblical ParentingThey are selling it at 25% off.  BUT, you can still buy electronic version of the book from your favorite outlets, like Amazon or Barnes and Noble, and get the extra resources for free still.  Full details about this deal HERE.

I love reading parenting books as I know I am an imperfect person and always can use some good advice on how to raise great kids and enjoy my time with them, too!  What are some of your favorite parenting books?  What have you read lately that has helped you with your multiples?

ldskatelyn is a wife and a mother of fraternal twin three-year olds and 6-week old son.  She loves reading books and then reviewing them. She blogs about her life over at whatsupfagans.blogspot.com.  Her affiliate links are used above.

Nurturing the Love of Reading

The Rainbow Magic series of books has been an obsession at our house for over a year now. The seemingly infinite sets of themed books, written by 4 British women under the pseudonym Daisy Meadows, have everything our daughters love: humour, fairies, royalty, clear cut good and bad (but not too bad), silliness, talking animals, and a sister-like friendship between the two protagonists, Rachel and Kirsty.

When our latest acquisition, Melodie the Music Fairy, arrived in the mail last week, I worried that M and J would argue over who got to read it first. Instead, they compromised. M read out loud while J peeked over her shoulder. It wasn’t until after M took a potty break that pandemonium erupted. J just couldn’t keep herself from reading ahead while M was in the bathroom. She lost M’s place in the book. These children love bookmarks, and use them with abandon. Interfere with a bookmark at your own peril. Fail to mark a child’s place in her book, and you can expect to be tarred and feathered.

While the Rainbow Magic books are a clear frontrunner, J and M are classic bibliophiles. J got completely flustered when her grandfather asked what kind of books she liked to read. She hemmed and hawed, trying to limit herself to one category of literature. I told her she didn’t have to pick if she didn’t know, and she was visibly relieved. The girls are as likely to be found with my Complete Works of Lewis Carroll in their lap as Everyone Poops, their Children’s Atlas or anything Dr. Seuss.

It’s easy for me to forget that it’s unusual for 5-year-olds to be comfortable with chapter books or to enjoy independent silent reading. I too was an early reader, and have partially read books stashed all around the house for stolen moments of literary indulgence. My husband got me a subscription to National Geographic early in our marriage, and it was an inspired gift.

I started chatting with one of the ballet dads at the girls’ dance school this weekend. We pointed out our children to each other in the 5-year-old class, and I answered his puzzled look by explaining that my daughters were twins.

“Oh, wow!” he said. “Do they fight a lot?”

“No,” I told him. “They hardly ever argued when they were younger, but they’ve been bickering more since they started school. One will want to read when the other wants to play, and they’ll argue over who gets to pick.”

“They read?” he asked me, incredulous. “And they’re 5? I can’t get my daughter to read. I work with her on her spelling words from school. She learns them, but then she can’t recognize them on a sign or whatever. How did you get them to read?”

We spent the rest of the hour discussing ways in which a child can develop a love of reading. I’ve been asked that question before, and usually just blow it off with a “they had a great pre-K teacher.” While that’s undeniably true, having an entire hour to talk to a parent who was genuinely at a loss allowed me some time to analyze how M and J came to love books.

When I was on maternity leave, I passed the hours of nursing by reading out loud from books and magazines. I was a little surprised that “henceforth” wasn’t in their early vocabulary. We’ve always had age-appropriate books around, though. J and M chewed on their fabric books as babies, and pointed at pictures in board books when they were a little older. We read Goodnight Moon every night for 3 years. Our local library understood children, and allowed them to explore the stacks of the children’s section with abandon. It was there that we discovered the Daisy Meadows books.

Reading was a way to avert tantrums. Sitting in my lap, listening to a story and caressing the pages of books seemed to soothe both the girls. Books were also a way to get a forgivable moment away from Sissy.

When I read to the girls, I always pointed to words as I read them. I expected them to learn to read words passively, I suppose, family lore being that that was how I learned. Their daycare program took a similar approach to kids’ books as we did at home. They were available to the children at all times, displayed where they would catch their eye. In addition, the teacher read to the class as a group daily, and one day a week was designated Book from Home Day. My girls loved browsing their book collection every week to settle on the book they would take in to share with their friends. The classroom winter party included a book exchange.

When J and M began to display an ability to recognize common words in books they’d never seen before, their pre-kindergarten teacher ran with it. She found them somewhat advanced worksheets to work on. Once they were reading comfortably, she allowed them to occasionally read to the class. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish was a favourite. By the time they completed pre-K, a couple of weeks after their 5th birthday, J, M and the other girls in their class were all reading independently to some degree. All the boys were still working on letter recognition, much to the teacher’s dismay. She wasn’t thrilled about the way literacy had broken down along gender lines.

I didn’t even realize that the girls were ready for chapter books until I found them both in their room one day, noses buried in fairy books. At first, I thought they were looking at the line drawings, but J looked up and summarized the plot for me.

It wasn’t until one of the girls’ friends spent the night that I realized that my husband and I had been teaching them about reading without even realizing it. J wanted to read Llama Llama Misses Mama as a bedtime story. Their friend became angry as J embarked on the first page.

“How does she know the story?” she asked.

“She’s reading it.”

“But how does she KNOW?” she persevered.

I asked J to show her the words as she read them, and J took the initiative to point out that the word “llama” repeated, which is why she said it twice. It occurred to me that our little guest thought of reading from a book as one of those magical traits parents have, like eyes in the back of our heads. I know her parents very well, and know that she has a book collection and is read to regularly. She didn’t, however, see books as toys. They were purely for parent-child interaction.

This realization was borne out the next morning. Our guest was a little ticked off that M was staring at a book in bed. I told our little friend that she was reading.

“No she’s not!” she said. “She’s not saying anything.”

It struck me that she had probably only rarely seen her parents read, except out loud to her. They’re outdoorsy, very active people, and on the rare occasion that they do sit down in silence, the television is their source of entertainment. I hadn’t ever thought of the way in which seeing Daddy and Mommy with books in hand, or discussing articles with news magazines strewn across the table, had influenced our girls.

I told the dance dad all of these things, and he confessed that he’d focused on drilling his daughter rather than making reading fun, and that she’d probably never seen him pick up a book. I had my iPad on me, so I showed him a couple of interactive books I’d installed for the girls. I told him that, in my opinion, pointing or highlighting words as they’re read is a pretty powerful tool in demonstrating that collections of letters carry meaning. Also, reading has got to be fun for kids to want to do it. I doubt my girls would have graduated to chapter books when they did if we only had books about dinosaurs. I was a dinosaur kid, but these girls of mine are all about the fairies and princesses.

I suggested to the dad that he consider letting his daughter run free in the children’s section of the nearest public library branch. She was far more likely to stay engaged with something she had picked out.

I forgot to mention one other tactic that has worked for us. The girls generally have television access only on weekends, and can watch either one full-length feature or a couple of shorter episodes. On the rare occasion that they do watch some TV on weekday evenings, the choice is invariably a nature or physics documentary, and we’re likely to follow it up by a trip to the non-fiction section of their bookshelf, or a visit to National Geographic’s kids’ webpage.

What do you do to encourage your children to develop good reading habits?

Sadia, her husband and their 5-year-old identical twins maximize their bookshelf space in El Paso, TX.

Teaching Your Children About Books

“There is no such thing as a moral book or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written. That is all.”
– Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891

The last week of September is banned books week, marked by booksellers and libraries across the United States. As I’ve been looking into information on this week, I’ve found a dizzying number of lists of banned books. Harry Potter tops many recent lists, and so does my recent sob novel Bridge to Terebithia. Gone With the Wind, The Great Gatsby, Of Mice and Men – many of the greatest books of the 20th century have been challenged and banned from schools and libraries.

Those books don’t surprise you? How about The Lorax? Challenged for “criminalizing the foresting industry.” Or Where’s Waldo? Removed from a school library for “nudity” (a tiny picture of a woman lying on a beach wearing a bikini bottom but no top). A Light in the Attic, Little House on the Prairie, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe – all these wonderful books have faced attempts to ban them from libraries and curriculums. [source here]

As parents, we are gatekeepers to our children’s minds and morals. If you don’t want your child to read a book, don’t have it in the house. If it’s on a required curriculum, ask that your child read an alternate title. Just please don’t try to impose your morality on others.

This week is a great time to talk to your children about banned books. A list of local libraries and merchants with displays can be found here. I’ve talked about this with my children as we’ve looked at the banned books displayed at our library. Reading is a freedom. But along with that freedom comes a responsibility to choose wisely and listen to guidance from parents. I don’t want Drama Girl to read the Gossip Girl books right now, but I’m reading Twilight with her, and heaven knows she’s read an enormous number of the books on the lists. My son has read and enjoyed Phillip Pullman’s books, but he knows the difference between what that author espouses and what we teach at home and in our Church.

This week I think we’ll act like outlaws and read James and the Giant Peach together.

“The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion…”
– Henry Steel Commager

Might as well catch up on my reading…

So, it’s September. I have a kid in middle school and my older twins in kindergarten and all of a sudden, I feel like I’m LIVING inside my minivan. Between shuttling back and forth to different schools and activities for the kids and going to my own meetings and outings for my twins club, I’m spending a ridiculous amount on gas! The other day at school, I was sitting in the parking lot waiting for final bell and thought to myself, this would be a great time to listen to audiobooks from the library on CD. So now I’ve been perusing my local library’s website, but I’m a little overwhelmed by the huge selection! It seems like I’m into “chick lit”, memoirs, and the occasional mystery. Any book recommendations for me? Have you read something outstanding over the summer that you think I’d like?

What to Do – Rainbows

My daughter is almost three and often has more energy than I can handle. I’m constantly struggling to find something that she can do – something that will hold her attention for longer than the 3.865 seconds that she typically spends – so that I can deal with my 8 month old boys. I thought it would be helpful to fellow multiple mommies to have a go-to list of stuff to do that you could whip out like the mother-of-the-year that you are (or in my case, that I wish I had the time/energy/patience to be). If your kids enjoy the beginning activity, I’ll provide more things along a theme. Stuff like related songs, books, snacks – you get the drift. The first theme is rainbows. (Why rainbows first? No idea. It’s just what appealed to me. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m a child of the 80′s, when rainbows, unicorns and the Preppy Handbook reigned supreme.) Anywho…let’s get started.

Core activity: Rainbow hunt.

  • Age appropriateness: 18 months & up
  • Materials needed: Nothing special, just stuff around the house!

Activity: We’re hunting rainbows! Or at least we’re looking for colors in the rainbow. The object of the activity is to have your kids look for objects around the house in each of the colors of the rainbow. When Katie was little, I used to take cups and bowls of several colors and then find little toys that would fit in each of the cups. Then we’d work together to match each thing to its “home.” For example, a blue ball would go into a blue cup, and a yellow ducky from the bath would go into a yellow bowl. Now that she’s older, I take different colors of construction paper and tell her to go find toys that match the colors. You can adapt this to your own kids’ age and interest level. I’ve tried this with kids stuck in chairs waiting for dinner to arrive at a restaurant. Each kid gets a magazine and then has 20 seconds to find as many colored images as they can. Here is Katie’s collection of treasures. She’s pointing to her favorite color (yellow) with her foot.

Note two things, if you will. Number one: I didn’t have purple construction paper in the house. I improvised with a marker. Number two: the foot that so gracefully points to her favorite color is still in pajamas. Today is a family sick day. We are all in our pj’s, including yours truly.

Sing. Here are some songs related to our rainbow theme. I did a simple search on YouTube to find clips of the songs so that you can hear the melodies.

Make. More rainbow-themed activities from other blogs that I found.

Explore. I did a couple of online searches and came up with some cool resources. My dad often sits a grandkid on his lap and does a Google images search for such favorites as helicopters or lions. Then they click through to whatever looks interesting.

Read. I’m a book-a-holic and children’s books are my favorite by far. Here are just a few – some are old favorites and others new ones to enjoy.

Experiment. Here are a couple of “scientific” activities that I found trolling the internet.

  • Fill a spray bottle with water, look at the mist in the sunlight.
  • Create an indoor rainbow with a prism
  • Make a rainbow in the dark

Eat. Fill your kids’ plates with fruits & veggies from a rainbow of colors. And you can use a drop or two of food coloring to turn milk or water into your kids’ favorite colors

  • Red: apples, strawberries
  • Orange: orange, mango
  • Yellow: banana, yellow bell pepper
  • Green: kiwi, celery, grapes
  • Blue: blueberries
  • Purple: grapes, eggplant, plums

Well, that’s all folks! I’m hoping to have a new activity every other Monday. You know, Monday, when you are chock full of energy and resolve that this week the kids are not going to watch so much TV and that you’re actually going to eat a piece of fruit or something that passes as a vegetable at least once every day and that you will, for sure!, get the minivan cleaned. Oh wait. That’s me.

If you have any more bright and colorful rainbow ideas, please add a comment. And if you have an idea for an upcoming theme, I’d love to hear about that too!

Staving Off Boredom

Dawn asked “I am curious if any of you have come across some good books with information about how to educationally entertain your toddler twins during the day. My guys are 16 months and I would like to find ways to add education into the fun mix. I realize they are always learning with everything we do but honestly I think the three of us are bored. I’m looking for inspiration!”

I hear you, Dawn. I know we’re supposed to be our kids’ best teachers, but sometimes it’s hard to be a one-woman show!

I have found a few fun items along the way that have helped pass the hours, helping me to feel that I was contributing to their budding curiosity and ongoing education. At our house, it’s projects and music. When I was feeling energized and ambitious, we tried out new activities. When I was feeling like I needed energy, we would put on the music.

All of the recommendations here come straight from our own home: tried, tested and twin-approved.

You should be able to find these materials at your local library, which I learned to utilize to a whole new level once the kiddos arrived. Our library system offers online access with a hold system so that you can reserve books from across the network and have them delivered to your local branch. Extremely handy.

We’ll start with books. These are broad-theme books with a range of art and play activities. There are so many idea books out there that are wonderful; these are just a few that I personally found, used and loved.

Toddler Theme Calendar by Totline – 2001
This one is AWESOME. It’s a perpetual calendar with activities for every day of every month of the entire year. I loved that this was already organized for me. I didn’t even have to open a book to find my own ideas – they were laid out already. They have one for preschoolers as well.

Baby Play by Wendy Masi – 2001
We are big fans of Gymboree Play & Music. We started taking our boys when they were 18 months old and only just stopped going after they turned four and started preschool. I love Gymboree! This books lets you bring some Gymboree home. They also have a Toddler Play version as well as new versions published in the last year that I’m sure are wonderful.

Science is Simple by Peggy Ashbrook – 2003
This is a great resource for toddlers and preschoolers. I know it’s got “preschoolers” in its title, but I have always believed in being a little advanced with my guys. The activities in this book are laid out for preschool teachers, so that you can make a whole day’s activity out of making homemade slime. Fun! We’ve tried a few of the activities out of this book with rousing success.

The Toddler’s Busy Book by Trish Kuffner – 2001
A great book! This one is packed full of ideas, games, and activities, from simple to more-effort-needed. Again, there are other versions available for other ages.

The other essential in our house to stave off boredom is music. I cannot stress enough that you do not have to suffer through saccharine children’s music just because you have children. They like what you like, generally. (My boys love to jump around to The White Stripes just as much as they do to anything I have listed out here.) Cheryl had a great review last week of the TwinSpin-Tunes for Twins CD (which I’ve added to my wishlist!). Here are a few others that never fail to get us up and DANCE.

The Backyardigans: Born to Play – 2008
I confess: I LOVE The Backyardigans. When my boys were Tyrone and Pablo last year for Halloween, I made myself a Uniqua costume. (Only one little girl knew who I was – everyone else thought I was Piglet.) I even decorated our mini-van as a backyard for trunk-o-treat, complete with a walk-through interior and a slide out the back. We have nearly all the DVDs and have so far had to live with just two CDs of music from the TV show. Not so any longer. Born to Play is a great CD, full of the wide range of musical styles The Backyardigans is known for. It’s impossible not to dance when you listen. Even if your kids don’t watch the show, you can’t help but enjoy the music.

Ralph’s World: Happy Lemons – 2007
Ralph’s World music is just wonderful. He explores a broad range of musical styles (blues, reggae, swing and zillions more) all within songs that are fun and whimsical. Our favorite is Happy Lemons but there are many more to choose from – they’re all fantastic!

They Might Be Giants: No – 2002
Yes, this is the same They Might Be Giants of “now it’s Istanbul not Constantinople” fame. They have produced some incredible children’s music, have been featured on the Disney channel and much more. This is one of our favorite CDs of all time. The music is quirky and weird with lots of funny stuff that keep my boys laughing. You know it’s good when you end up singing along to it in the car on the way to work. And you’re all the way there before you realize you don’t have any kids with you.

Now that I’ve shared some of my family’s favorites, I would love to hear more about yours! I’m always on the lookout for new books and CDs to share with my boys.