I’m sure we’ve all gotten variations of the question. “Who is more outgoing?” “Is one good and one bad?” “What are their personalities like?”
Once someone asked me which one was my favorite.
I don’t mind the questions, especially the “rude” ones, because usually I can joke about it and I’m so excited for adult interaction. But the sincere questions from friends and distant family, asking us to name the differences between the twins, are hard for me because I don’t know the answer.
The truth is, they feel different to me. I sense them differently. Their presence in a room, their weight, their faces, their hands in mine feel different. They smell different. They are my babies and I know them, but it isn’t something I can explain to another person so he or she can see it.
When they were infants I had a sense that G was angry, and P was sad. As they got older, G was more adventuresome and P was more timid. G would wander off to play on a structure across the park, and P would cling to my hand. At swimming lessons G participated, and tried to coax P into the water. P laid on the deck at my feet and cried until it was time to go home.
But they switch. Now it is P who will venture off to something new, and G who clings to us. They take turns leading each other.
Do you struggle to explain your multiples’ personalities when asked these sorts of questions? Or have your kids had consistently different personality types since birth?
Jen is a work-from-home mom of twins + 2. She also blogs at Diagnosis: Urine.