I am now in my third trimester expecting a single baby, 4 ½ years after having fraternal twins. This time around, the pregnancy feels very different from when I was expecting the twins. In many ways, it’s simpler (less doctors’ visits) and in other ways, it’s more uncomfortable (feeling as big as when there were two in there).
One of the biggest differences are the comments and questions I’m getting from complete strangers. It reminds me of the comments we would get once the twins were born! With the twin pregnancy, I didn’t get nearly as many questions or remarks, probably because I was not out and about as much as I am now. They say with the second pregnancy you show quicker and get heavier. Even more so after having twins because, according to my doctor, the ligaments are stretched out from the twin pregnancy and the centre of gravity changes. Hence I started waddling much earlier than before. And given my petite frame, my ballooning belly sends the signal to everyone that I must be at, or very close to the due date.
With the twins, I was off work shortly after 24 weeks. This time, I’m still waddling around the office at 30 weeks. I can’t count the number of times people in my workplace (mostly women outside of my organization who don’t even know my name) have asked me questions or shown sympathy. One time, it was a lady in the washroom. It took three of my colleagues to reassure me afterwards that I would be fine and not to listen to others. Five minutes later, I had the same conversation with a stranger in the elevator.
Here are how those conversations typically unfold:
“Oh my, you must be due soon. You must be feeling so hot in this heat.”
“I have about two months to go. The heat isn’t too bad.. air-conditioned home, office, car…” (Next time I will tell them I was born in the desert and that Canadian summers don’t bother me.. winter does)
“Two months?? You look like you could go any day! Twins?” (How did she know I already… oh wait I get it)
“No, I already have twins. That’s why I’m so big this time.”
“Wow you have twins! Well you are looking lower than when I last saw you. I don’t mean to discourage you but I think you will go early.”
Next time I go to the bathroom or get into an elevator, I won’t mention my actual due date, or better yet, won’t make eye contact. I’m allowed to act grumpy, right?
What were some of the experiences that stood out for you during pregnancy?