Confessions of a Scared Twin Mom

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Often when I read this blog – and the personal blogs of its contributors – I feel like the biggest twin-mommy slacker in the world.  I love my children. I have (I think) complete control of all situations within, and within walking distance of, our home. I am confident. I feel like I handle situations with grace. But I have a confession to make: I have only ventured out (alone) with the twins once. And – with the exception of one emergency trip to the pedicatrician – I have never taken all three of my children out by myself.

I could try and blame it on my routine and how I don’t want to “disturb” anything. But the truth is, I’m scared! How would I handle a double (or triple) meltdown? What if something happens to ME? When I think of venturing out with them, these are the things running through my mind. And since I’ve never HAD to go anywhere alone with all of them, I’m still a novice in this area.

 But that all changes tonight.

And we’re doing it in a big way. Dinner out of the house.

Why? Why, why, why would I start with dinner out of the house as my first venture? Dinner is the beginning of our finely tuned nighttime routine. Why would any sane (?) MOT choose this time of day to try something new? Well, because we were invited somewhere. And at this point, I feel like if I go even one more week without taking this step forward in my mothering career, they may revoke my twin-mom club priveledges.

So, tonight I will leave work, pick up the children and head off to a dinner date where the ratio will be six kids (under 4 years old) to two moms. Hopefully they will eat something (I am not even hoping that I will be able to eat something!) and hopefully I will not be the one crying.

This is a big step for me. I’ll confess that I’m scared but it MUST be done. 

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12 thoughts on “Confessions of a Scared Twin Mom”

  1. You go, girl! Way to be bold! Yes, it’s possible they’ll melt down. But you’ll be fine. You know that kids scream, and you know that you can survive screaming. The worst case scenario is that there will be meltdowns, you’ll go home and get everyone to bed, and then crash into bed, yourself. And you never know, they might surprise you! The novelty of something new may very well hold their attention for a while.

    Hey, I’m all about getting out of the house by myself. But I didn’t say it always went well… Sometimes it’s an all-out disaster. Oh well! We live to see another day, right?

    Good luck, can’t wait to hear about it!

  2. Wow, that is a bold way to start out! Dinnertimes out scare me, even with two adults (and only two children). I guess I’m a wuss too. I’ve become a big fan of the evening babysitter—it might be pricey, but really, what is my sanity worth, anyway?

    Let us know how it goes! This is making me feel like I need to get them out more too.

  3. LOVE THIS POST! You HAVE to read MINE! I JUST TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER…took all THREE OF MY GIRLS OUT on an outing! You don’t worry…you will do just fine(HA HA, as if i’m a pro at taking out 3 or something)! :) You will be SOO PROUD of yourself afterwards…get home and have a drink! It if wasn’t 230p i’d be having a drink to celebrate my victory…maybe tonight!
    I have also been scared to death. As long as you are in a confined area that is child proofed…you will be just fine. You MAY not eat..but once you are in the car on the way home…you will feel like you aren’t defeated after all. You CAN handle 3…it IS scary..but it will be OK! Can’t wait to hear about your journey out…i hope it is just as good as mine was today!


  4. You’re going to be GREAT!!!!

    From experience I can vouch for the fact that for all those “not so great” outing times (which certainly weren’t MY fault, I didn’t have the tantrums 😉 ), you end up with hysterical stories…and a bit more experience under your belt. I’m betting all goes famously!


  5. I am right there with you~ SCARED to go out, too! {even now when ours are 4 years old- haha}
    You are doing the right thing by going for it. There are two things I want to share with you… 1- for me, it seems that whenever I worry about something A LOT, it seems that the actual experience goes just fine… like I worried way more about it than I needed to, (and like goddess said, the newness of it all may make the kids kinda chill this time) 2- the more you get out, the easier you will handle it.
    Dont expect things to go perfect, then if/when they dont, you will be ok. Worse case scenario is that you will have to pick them all up and take them home without finishing the dinner. I think (and hope) any mom, even those with only one, can understand where you are coming from in that case and would do the same.
    YOU WILL DO FINE! I am so proud of you! Let me know how it goes! I will be praying for you… most of all- have a GREAT time!

  6. That is so funny that you posted this today. I myself took the twins out for the second time on my own today. The first time was last Thursday to get them weighed and today, we had to make an impromptu trip to the pediatrician. I felt so brave after the pediatrician that we stopped by Walmart. I hightailed it outta there as soon as I heard my first wimper though. Why is it we are soo afraid of the public meltdown? I do feel better now that we’ve succeeded twice. I am assuming the more trips we make, the easier it gets. I will admit, I no longer look around and make eye contact with others in public. It seems like we are construed as a circus act with all the attention we are getting. It must be the humongous Graco Duo-Glider:) And, I’m already tired of hearing “double trouble” and we’ve only been out of the house a few times.

  7. Good luck and please oh please post to let us know how it went! My first times out alone with the boys were completely by necessity as my husband travels so much for work. I am not brave, just can’t stand being stuck in the house all the time (I telecommute so I am ALWAYS home).

    And you know, I’ve had those double meltdowns and I’ve had two toddlers get away from me in a parking lot. Once you experience the worst, it only gets better from there.

  8. i was a big wuss for a long time because i could be (my parents live with us) but once i started doing the solo outings i got kinda’ hooked. i was pretty scared initially but now it is so much easier, they can be distracted with food and drink and if things do not go well we load up and go home. did i mention my boy are 13 months and i started solo outings around 10 months….yep, it took me that long.

    today was the first time we attended my local MOM club’s playdate with a bunch of other twins and MOMs and it was great, it was so refreshing to be with others that do not constantly mention the fact that there is no way they could handle it. actually, most of th twins were 2/3 and the moms looked just fine, laughing a little and helping me out as i chased my crazies around.

    i highly recommend it. smiles and update us when you can.

  9. Good luck, I hope you had a fabulous night and there were no meltdowns and it will encourage you to brave it all over again.

    I remember when I first had my twins, my husband was deployed and although my mum flew over from Australia for 5 weeks to help me out after that I was on my own. I didn’t have family to help and my phone wasn’t exactly ringing off the hook with volunteers to help me out with food shopping or errands so I had to brave it. I would drag the two little munchkins everywhere – food shopping, errands, school events for my older child … EVERYWHERE. Sure it didn’t always go smoothly and still quite often it doesn’t but we all survive and are none the worse for wear.

    Even now, the twins are 20 months old and one day we can go out for dinner and they will be perfect angels eating their food, coloring in their menu’s with crayons and the next day we will wonder if we actually took OUR angels to the restaurant and didn’t accidentally mix up our kids with somebody else’s.

    Once you’ve done this a few times you’ll wonder why you’d been worried all this time. As for my husband though, he’s only managed to take ours to the park once and for walks a couple of times on his own LOL. The only thing I can’t do on my own is the swimming pool or beach. Unfortunately the 2 of them in opposite directions where there is water involved is just too much for my nerves to handle.

  10. Please let us know how it went!

    My problem was the opposite. I was afraid to be home with my kids all day. Perhaps I thought I would die of a heart attack and no one would know there was no one caring for my kids? Not until my husband returned from Iraq when my girls were 20 months old did I have a day where we stayed home all day.

  11. Yay for you!! I’ve taken my twin girls (12 months old) out alone a lot, and I know you can do it too!! Part of it is just getting used to the idea that even if it’s a disaster…you can handle it. Sometimes they do scream, but mostly the people around you are sympathetic. I hope it goes well and gives you confidence to do it again soon!

  12. now that ist summer time.. I forced myself to go outside with my munchkins (1 year old in 2 days ;)) my problem was – we live on the second floor and have no elevator… in the winter time I just had to much to carry. I try to stay outside (park etc) as long as possible but after 2-3 hours one starts being a wiggleworm in the carriage and wants to be carried – thats when I head home …. if twin moms could only have a live in masseuse 😉
    being outside more really helps you get a clear head and makes your nerves stronger! why don´t you try right before they take a nap? therefore you can start by just walking around with the carriage for an hour while they sleep.

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