Often when I read this blog – and the personal blogs of its contributors – I feel like the biggest twin-mommy slacker in the world. I love my children. I have (I think) complete control of all situations within, and within walking distance of, our home. I am confident. I feel like I handle situations with grace. But I have a confession to make: I have only ventured out (alone) with the twins once. And – with the exception of one emergency trip to the pedicatrician – I have never taken all three of my children out by myself.
I could try and blame it on my routine and how I don’t want to “disturb” anything. But the truth is, I’m scared! How would I handle a double (or triple) meltdown? What if something happens to ME? When I think of venturing out with them, these are the things running through my mind. And since I’ve never HAD to go anywhere alone with all of them, I’m still a novice in this area.
But that all changes tonight.
And we’re doing it in a big way. Dinner out of the house.
Why? Why, why, why would I start with dinner out of the house as my first venture? Dinner is the beginning of our finely tuned nighttime routine. Why would any sane (?) MOT choose this time of day to try something new? Well, because we were invited somewhere. And at this point, I feel like if I go even one more week without taking this step forward in my mothering career, they may revoke my twin-mom club priveledges.
So, tonight I will leave work, pick up the children and head off to a dinner date where the ratio will be six kids (under 4 years old) to two moms. Hopefully they will eat something (I am not even hoping that I will be able to eat something!) and hopefully I will not be the one crying.
This is a big step for me. I’ll confess that I’m scared but it MUST be done.