I think 2 1/2 may be my tipping point

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Categories Childcare, Development, Family, Mommy Issues, Toddlers

I know a lot of readers of this blog have much younger multiples than mine. Next month, my boys will be 2 1/2.  For those in the newborn stage with multiples, 2 1/2 may as well be 13. I’ve been in that crazy newborn period with twins so I know how far away it can seem. I’m writing today to provide hope and a definitive answer to the question “When does it get easier?”

I think 2 1/2 may be my tipping point – the point at which I REAP the benefits of having twins. At this age, a lot of my singleton parent friends are starting to have their second child. And universally I hear stories of transitions, lack of sleep, and planning their day around a baby. Not me! My transitions are over. My extreme lack of sleep is over. My days of planning around baby sleep schedules are over.

Sure, my boys fight a lot. But they’ve reached the stage where they also hug a lot. Sure, there are two of them. But they nap at the same time, eat the same food at the same time, and go to bed at the same time. Sure, they may wake up with nightmares or due to illness. But 99 nights out of 100, they sleep 11-12 hours.

Our entire evening last night was so easy. All four of us ate the same meal at the same time. The boys helped clean up after dinner. We decided to go to a toy store to check out tricycles for Christmas and I didn’t pack anything. Nada, nothing, zip, zilch. We keep a bag in the trunk for emergencies so I didn’t need to pack a thing. The boys walked around the store, so we didn’t need a stroller. I put the boys to bed on my own so my husband could pack for a work trip, and the bedtime routine did not involve any tears or gear.

I am in no way, shape, or form saying parenting twin two year olds is easy. It is hard, and I often write about the emotional challenges on my personal blog. But those labor-intensive years where everything was so baby-focused seem to be fading away. Everything feels so much more manageable now and I can truly say I would not have it any other way. To me, that defines my tipping point. What about you? Have you reached your tipping point?

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17 thoughts on “I think 2 1/2 may be my tipping point”

  1. I totally get what you mean. Though shortly after the “wow, this is pretty easy” of 2.5, my boys both decided to drop their naps. Ugh, that took about 6 months for *me* to adapt to :) But you should see 3.5…awesome! I’m going out today ALL day with them by myself, with no worries.

  2. good to know! I felt that 2 1/2 was the magic age with my big girl. I’m happy to hear a mother of boy twins say the same. We are finding 15 months to be challenging. They are so busy trying to learn and explore, but there communication isn’t there yet so everyone ends up frustrated. I look forward to the “tipping point”. One year to go… :-)

  3. I am glad it gets even better. Mine are 18 months and I am ALWAYS encouraging mothers of twinfants that there is no harder time than those first 6-8 months. This stage is so much easier although I will admit there are lots of challenges and as another poster mentioned we too are dealing with the frustration b/c they are not capable of doing what they’d like (ie shoving a circle into a square shaped toy) and they end up frustrated. There is also the sharing issue at this stage too. Anyways, thanks for the positive info. I so often hear “it just gets harder” blah, blah blah.

  4. you know, i am not sure this is a tipping point, but 1 1/2 is a hell of a lot easier than this time last year. (i just wrote a bit about it on my blog) there is certainly less to worry about, they are able to do a lot more, and i feel so much better. it makes me look forward to next year even more. so, our boys must have bdays very close in date, but one year apart. how cool!

  5. My twins are 19 months and we are having fun, and everything is simpler every day (except the communication part!). Last Sunday we unexpectedly ate out at the Macaroni Grill. I did not have bibs/sippy, etc with me. We had a GREAT meal out. Big clothe napkins were workable as bibs, the drink comes with a cover and straw, and my kids LOVED the mac n’ cheese shells for their meal, and the bread that came right away. The floor was even clean when we left.

    The oddest thing was 16 month old twins who were sitting at a table right next to us. The mom and dad fed them something like 5 large jars of baby food while we were sitting there, which I thought was unusual at their age (it did not appear organic or for special dietary needs.) Dean kept looking at them as if he wanted to offer them some of his delicious Mac N’ Cheese. (Of coure, every parent needs to decide what is best for their kids…)


  6. What a wonderful post! And with now 7-year-olds, I can vouch that you are in store for still more “tipping points!”
    There are always the occasional “challenges” but truly, except for maybe potty training 😉 , all seem lesser compared to those first couple of years…particularly the first couple of months! (Amazing what a return to sleep will do…)

    Now when my two hit their teens? Maybe I’ll revisit my assessment!

  7. I agree about the time when people start thinking about kid number two and you already have two! But Husband is already talking about kid number 3 and our twins are only 8 weeks old.

    I think the newborn/infant phase is rough no matter what but more than double for moms with twins. Unsure of your parenting, fussy kids, feeding issues, etc. I think once we introduce solid foods and they sleep more I’ll feel like we’re at our “tipping point”. Then my friends will be jealous I already have two instead of just amazed at how much I go through on a daily basis.

  8. I think you are right. Mine are 2 1/2 as well, and life is getting much, much easier. I love going somewhere free of diaper bags, etc. Although I always keep wipes in the car, wipes are a wonderful thing. I love how they can entertain each other instead of always requiring me to do it.

    People don’t let us alone on the “when are you going to have another” thing though.

  9. My 16 month old boys are in a somewhat high maintenance stage and nap transition stage right now. But here’s the thing which gives me perspective on the long haul: I also have a first grader (Ethan).
    We have new challenges as Ethan entered first grade! Math homework, learning to read, emotional ups and downs, tantrums but in a different form, new types of discipline required, issues with friends, chores, etc. So the older child brings new unexpected parenting challenges and new joys as well. I have a wonderful book called the “Mothers Almanac” for the school age years (6-12). This is a great resource for me because I get insights about the developmental needs and stages of my first grader. He sometimes requires more attention and time than the twins. Maybe that’s why bedtime is my favorite time of day :0)

  10. My girls are almost 19 months and it’s funny how much different they are now than just a few months ago (16 months? hellish). I’m sure the changes are exponential from here on out!

  11. I just found out I am pregnant with twins. My first thought on reading this was total dejection. 2.5 years until I get some semblance of life back? But then I remembered that 2.5 is about when my daughter and my godson started to play together for extended periods without descending into “mine!” squabbles every 3 minutes.

    Perhaps some deep breaths are in order. It is worth a shot, while I wait.

  12. Well, my girls just turned 3 last week. Yes, 2 1/2 was pretty good, but I’m HATING 3. Sorry, I really had an easier time when they were 6 months old than at 3. I think there are probably just lots of ups and downs and some of us will deal better with some stages and not so well with others. This one is kind of crappy for me. I’m hoping Sally is right about 3.5. :)

  13. I had a smooth road from 10 months to 18 months and then, it’s been a roller coaster that now, at two months shy of 3, is proving to be the hardest yet — aside from those sleep deprived days, which nothing could ever be worse than! I’ve heard 4 is the magic age and so until then … breathing, breathing, breathing!!!!!!!

  14. Yes, just after my boys turned two… I got so many wistful comments about how they have each other to play with, they’re on the same schedule, etc. It is at this point (they’re closing in on three now) that I can say I am so glad I have twins!

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