If there’s one thing all moms can agree on, it’s probably that there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. One bit that I’ve really been struggling with recently is how to fit in all of the various permutations of “quality time.”
As a full-time stay-at-home-mom, I get more time with my two kids than I sometimes know what to do with. I’m glad I get to be with them so much, even though it’s exhausting. But we get all kinds of time together. And the kids are together pretty much all day every day, so no worries about them getting all the time they need. But what about the other combinations?
First, mama needs some alone time. And while naptime is a precious commodity to me, sometimes you need a bit more freedom than that. So, sometimes on the weekend we get to knock out a little mommy-free-time while also getting dad-alone-with-both-kids time. Check and check.
We also spend a lot of time on the weekend doing family-of-four stuff, like going out for lunch or going swimming at the YMCA. I really do enjoy that time, being able to do things all together. (The improved adult:child ratio is nice, too.)
Oh, wait. That guy I married. I think we used to have fun together. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some mom-dad solo time, too? Crap. Childcare is expensive. Maybe when my parents come to visit? For now, we’ve implemented a weekly movie night, which is a start, but it’s hardly a romantic date.
And then, everything I read reminds me that what the kids are really missing out on is time without the other twin. While I think this is an issue in all multi-child households, it can be especially problematic with the pair who have never known life without one another. They each need some one-on-one time with mommy. And daddy. And, if we’re really lucky, they can each have some time with both parents to themselves. I know this is one of the biggest things that we are lacking, and I know the one-on-one time is really important. The individualized attention can reap so many benefits for everyone involved, I really want to get more of it. But how?
To recap, here’s the combinations we’re trying to squeeze into time outside of the work-week (when I’m solo with the kids all day):
- Mommy alone time
- Dad with both kds
- Mom and dad without kids
- Son with mom
- Son with dad
- Daughter with mom
- Daughter with dad
- Son with mom and dad
- Daughter with mom and dad
In my world, I know that things are more likely to happen if they are somehow scheduled or planned into the daily and weekly routine. So, how do you do it? How do you get solo time with the kids, solo time for yourself, adult time with your spouse? Do you plan it into your week (or, who are we kidding, weekend)? Do you have some kind of rotation in place to keep things as equitable as you can?
Or am I just over-thinking all of this?