Birthday Party Quandary

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Categories Birthdays, Classroom Placement, School-AgeTags , , ,

J was just invited to her first birthday party since we moved to El Paso. The invitation came from a classmate. I assume the entire class was invited, since this was J’s first week in the class.

Even before I read the invitation, I reminded M that this was one of the things that was going to different, now that she and her sister were in different classrooms. They wouldn’t always be invited to the same parties any more. She was fine with that.

When I looked at the invitation, though, it was addressed to “Fam. J”.

Should I take M to the party, or leave her at home? There was no RSVP information, so I can’t ask the birthday girl’s parents. I’ve never dealt with this etiquette issue before.

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Sadia (rhymes with Nadia) has been coordinating How Do You Do It? since late 2012. She is the divorced mother of 10-year-old monozygotic twins, M and J. They live in the Austin, TX suburbs, where Sadia works full time in information technology. She contributes to a number of parenting websites and magazines and also runs The Mommy Blogging Guide, where she answers mommy bloggers' technical questions.

8 thoughts on “Birthday Party Quandary”

  1. I would assume if the invitation was address to the “family” of J, then they intend for parents and siblings to attend. If it makes sense, schedule-wise, for you all to go, I think that’s appropriate. Or maybe this is an opportunity for J to go and M to do something different. Sounds like you have a choice…and maybe an opportunity to “warm up” to the idea of separate parties / social events. Good luck! :)

  2. That’s a tough one. Would the teacher be willing to give you contact info for the parents? If it says “fam,” though, then I would say they expect siblings to show up.

  3. I’d say go ahead and take her. I’m sure the parents of the child are planning for a large number of children to show up, but not all that are invited will, so there should be room for M. And maybe it will give M a chance to socialize with kids that are not in her class

  4. My thought is that when they invite the fam, that means they want the parents there for adult supervision. If siblings come along, what is what more kid? and the parents are there anyway so there is no worry. I would say the door is open to you to either bring her along or have some one-on-one time.

  5. Hi Sadia, I sure miss reading your blog.

    The invite was probably for both of them. I have several times invited siblings because the party was at a place that allowed for extra kids to attend for the same cost.

    When you are a mom with more than one kid, there is always the issue of what to do with the other sibling. And we all know what a big production it is just to get the one kid to some function … I think most of us try to make it easier on the moms by inviting siblings when we can.

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