Our twins are 8 weeks old today, and in the past 8 weeks, there have been countless topics I wanted to write about. Among them: how it’s possible to have a beautiful birth of your babies even after bed rest, preeclampsia and a magnesium drip, how no one REALLY explains how hard breastfeeding is to you before you have babies (much less, breastfeeding twins), and something about the sleep deprivation (if I had more sleep, I could have said that more articulately).
But, what has been the most difficult adjustment, and perhaps the only thing that has truly surprised me about being a new mom, is the grueling feeding schedule. Feeding two hungry mouths every three hours was much more challenging than I anticipated. For some reason, it didn’t occur to me that it would really require two adults to do so, and that it would take nearly the whole three-hour window before the next feeding to complete the cycle. All this made me start thinking about the timeframes I’ve been bound to in the last two years and how a biological clock isn’t just about trying to have kids before various risks increase.
- 40 – The number of weeks all multiple pregnancies strive to get to.
- 38 – The number of weeks we all secretly could tolerate getting to.
- 35.6 – The number of weeks I made it to in my pregnancy.
- 32 – The number of weeks in my pregnancy before being put on bed rest.
- 28 – The number of weeks in my pregnancy before I really had any complications. (First one was pubic symphysis dysfunction, followed by preterm dilation, then preeclampsia.)
- 16 – The number of months we tried to get pregnant before our successful IVF treatment.
- 9 – The number of months I was on hormone treatments before getting pregnant.
- 10 – The number of weeks I took daily progesterone shots during pregnancy.
- 2 – The number of weeks in a cycle I felt I lived my life on before this: the two week wait to ovulate, then the two week wait to find out if I was pregnant.
- 3 – The number of hours between feedings.
- 1.5 – The number of hours I usually have between feedings to shower, feed myself, clean bottles or pump parts, close my eyes for a bit.
- 1 – The painfully slow number of hours it currently takes my daughter to finish a bottle.
I recall being anxious to get off of the “two week wait to ovulate/two week wait to find out if I was pregnant” schedule. Silly me. I didn’t realize how the scheduling would just take another form.
And I recognize that it will be this way always. It just will be a soccer practice, or school or day camp that is dictating my clock instead of ovulation or weeks of gestation.
In the meantime, my daily goal is to focus on the moment instead of when the clock will alert me to the next deadline. To try to appreciate my little ones in this very innocent, sweet time. To take the time to feel the love and support that has been brought into our house by all the visitors and family support, knowing the visits and support will someday end. To try to laugh at the things that sleep deprivation has caused us to do (ie, pumping without bottles attached for a good 3-4 minutes before feeling warm milk on my lap). To open my heart and my life to these two little beings I’m getting to know more and more each day.
What was your favorite memory of being in the moment when you first brought your babies home?