Both Mine

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Categories Mommy Issues, Other people, Parenting Twins

Both Mine

My friend Rhema is just about every kind of wonderful you can imagine.

She leads our daughters’ Girl Scout troop. She elegantly walks the line between being a role model to the girls and providing structured activities and giving them a sense of freedom and ownership over their own troop. She’s a stay-at-home mom who spends much of her time volunteering at our daughters’ school, and she is a great mother to her charming 7-year-old daughter and 3-year-old son.

This week of Spring Break, she offered to watch my girls so I wouldn’t have to put them in the YMCA program that left me so unhappy last summer. She won’t let me pay her. I told you she was wonderful.

When I went over to her house to retrieve my daughters the other day, a friend of Rhema’s had stopped by. This friend started to tell me a story about how M had reacted to discovering that this friend had almost the same name as M herself. Before she started, though, Rhema’s friend had a question.

“Is M yours?”
“They both are,” I said.
“Oh! I guess they do look alike.”

And she told me how M, riding a bike, quite literally left a skid mark on the driveway on hearing Rhema’s friend’s name.

I didn’t realize until later that I hadn’t volunteered that M and J were twins and hadn’t felt any need to do so. Maybe we are outgrowing the twin focus after all.

Do you feel the need to point out your kids’ multiple birth when they’re mistaken for friends?

Sadia (rhymes with Nadia) has been coordinating How Do You Do It? since late 2012. She is the divorced mother of 7-year-old monozygotic twins, M and J. She lives with them and their 3 cats in the Austin, TX suburbs and works full time as a business analyst. She retired her personal blog, Double the Fun. She also blogs at and Multicultural Mothering.

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Sadia (rhymes with Nadia) has been coordinating How Do You Do It? since late 2012. She is the divorced mother of 10-year-old monozygotic twins, M and J. They live in the Austin, TX suburbs, where Sadia works full time in information technology. She contributes to a number of parenting websites and magazines and also runs The Mommy Blogging Guide, where she answers mommy bloggers' technical questions.

2 thoughts on “Both Mine”

  1. This reminds me of an incident on the opposite end of the spectrum. During the girls’ open house for 3-year old preschool, they were dressed in coordinating outfits. It just so happened that another little girl was wearing the same Carter’s outfit as B. One parent approached me as the kiddos played, saying, “How many of the kids are yours???” Hahaha!

  2. I’ll admit that I do feel a need to identify them as twins because I don’t want someone to assume one of my daughters is older than the other. We haven’t told our children about their birth order (because I believe this to be irrelevant, and others often put a great deal of emphasis on it), and it’s important to me that someone not assume that one of my daughters is a year or two older, for example, because she is more outgoing, or a bit taller, etc. etc.

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