Why Are Multiple Mamas Just So Nice???

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Categories Friendships with Other Multiples, Mommy Issues

Not long after we became MoMs, one of my bestest twin mama friends told me, “Motherhood is the great common denominator.”

I thought that reference was just profound.

When I think about what, for me, has been the greatest common denominator, though, it is being a multiple mama.

I don’t know if it’s the winding roads that most of us have traveled…many though infertility…many through prematurity…often with the financial strain of multiple kiddos at once…

…or is it the simple fact that we’re all outnumbered by our kiddos?

All I have to do is think about our MoMs group get-togethers. Especially when my girls were smaller, it could feel really daunting to be in a group environment. Would I be able to manage both the girls through the potluck dinner? What if one had to go to the bathroom? What if they both decided to take off running towards the parking lot?

I quickly discovered that – despite the sometimes-seeming chaos of a gaggle of matching multiples running around – we all had each others’ backs.

Unlike the sideways glances I got from time to time at toddler story hour, where most mamas were grooving in time with their ONE little one…while I could only try my best to keep my girls from toddling in different directions…that judgment is just not there with a bunch of MoMs.

We lend each other a hand…we hold babies…we wipe sticky hands (and sometimes goopy bottoms)…we share our toys…we work it out.

Just seeing this snapshot from a recent get-together with my MoMs group makes me smile!
Just seeing this snapshot from a recent get-together with my MoMs group makes me smile!

When we get together for a late-night coffee…finally having gotten the kiddos to bed…it’s really OK if you show up without makeup. Really, it is. Yoga pants with spit-up on them? It’s OK…hey, look, me, too!  A sense that somebody’s hard on cash? Hey, how about we meet at my house. We’re just thankful to see each other. Really, we are.

It’s been my experience that, far beyond the commonality of motherhood, being a multiple mama is a pretty special club. I’ve seen it transcend socio-economic status, religion, and politics. I’ve seen otherwise very different families side by side, making the best of it together…united by a common bond to which many others just can’t relate.

I am so very blessed to be a mama to my girlies, and I’m really thankful for the sisterhood it’s brought me, too.

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MandyE is the mother of 4 ½-year old fraternal twin girls, Baby A and Baby B. (And yes, their names actually start with the letters A and B!) She worked in the marketing field for nine years before her girls were born, but these days she’s relishing the opportunity to be a SAHM, which she plans to continue until the girls start kindergarten. MandyE has been blogging at Twin Trials and Triumphs since her girls were a year old. Between her blog and her local Mothers of Multiples group, she considers the multiples community a huge part of her support system.

3 thoughts on “Why Are Multiple Mamas Just So Nice???”

  1. Nice post, Mandy. I have a couple twin Mama friends, but they were both friends before we had children (though there is a special bond between us due to the shared experiences). I’ve never made a friend purely based on our Mama-status, and I’m wondering how I’d go about doing that. It’s been tough since I do work full time.

    Last year when I took almost a year off, I loved being able to go to Mommy-and-Me classes with the oldest, and made a couple of good friends through that, but now that I’ve been back at work, these opportunities don’t really occur.

    However, summer is soon approaching, and I’m ready to reach out and do some fun things again! In fact, I think I will brave the Mommy-and-Me classes with twin toddlers in tow.

  2. I’ve met everyone I know through our local MoMs group. There are five of us now that coordinate for the group, and I consider those ladies all such close friends.

    (As a side note, 3 of the 5 of us work full-time, so we just do our best to coordinate around schedules. For our MoMs group, we usually plan things at night [after the kiddos are in bed] and on the weekends to try to hit as many families as possible.)

    Brave those classes!!! One of my mama friends has quads, and I am amazed at everything she does with them. I was a little more timid when the girls were younger, but — if I ever need inspiration — I just look to my friend M and think, ‘Well, if she can do it, surely I can, too!’ 😉

    I can’t forget the online community, either. I consider many of my very close friends some of those whom I’ve never met face-to-face. I wish I’d been part of this network when my girls were infants. I think it would have made a real difference in me not feeling so alone in the world. (Our MoMs group didn’t get started until my girls were about a year old, so that first year was really tough.)

    Twin mama-to-twin mama hugs to you! :) :)

  3. It’s funny, but even in my unique situation, I can’t help but agree with you. I do feel very loved by the triplet moms especially, who make sure I know that I’ll always be a triplet mom. And then the twin moms, who try to avoid calling my babies twins because they know I cringe inside with that term. I love the deeper level of understanding that seems to be among the MOMs. Like, all moms have a connection; but all MOMs have even yet again a deeper one. Glad to count you among one of my awesome MOM friends!

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