“Are you going to separate them?”
“When are you going to separate them?”
Those are 2 questions that parents of multiples will have to answer over and over again as their multiples go through the different stages of childhood. The first time that question has to be answered is when you’re going home with twinfants in tow. Should they share a room? Should they share a bed?
For me the answers were fairly straightforward. Should they share a room? Absolutely! No way I’m going to manage night feedings in 2 different locations.
Should they share a bed? As long as it’s safe to do so was the consensus. What’s safe? As long as they do not have the ability to move or roll over each other, twins can share a crib. With this, my twins did share a crib for the first couple of months until they started wiggling to the middle of the crib to share body warmth. 
Cute as it was, it wasn’t safe and that signified it was time for them to move into separate cribs. And so the first of many separation decisions was made based on safety and convenience.
I wish all the other separation decisions would be as easy as the ones in the infant stage but no such luck. My babies are now pre-schoolers and I’ll soon have to face the question of separating them in school. As with the first decision that was made, the answer will be a combination of what’s best for the family – convenient for the parents and in the best and safest interest of the kids.
If you’re a parent or caretaker of multiples, how do you do it? The separation decisions that is. What are the driving factors for determining when and how to physically separate your multiples?
Yetunde is the proud mom of twin girls, affectionately nicknamed Sugar and Spice and she blogs about the twin parenting life at www.mytwintopia.com
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The picture of them sleeping together is adorable! When we transitioned our twin boys to toddler beds (and they could get out of bed on their own) they always ended up in the same bed. Then one night we heard furniture moving and discovered that they were sliding their beds together so they could sleep together but have more space. They did that until they got big boy beds at age 4. Interesting, they never climb into each other’s bed once they got big boy beds. I guess they decided when they were ready to sleep in separate beds!
I had never made the link between separating my girls in their crib to separating them in school. This is great perspective!
We, too, separated our girls when they started rolling around, about 9 or 10 weeks.
We made the decision to separate the girls in kindergarten, so they each had their own “space” to grow. They’re together for part of the day, for reading and math…the best of both worlds, in my opinion.
Definitely a parallel there!
My twins are 4 and I know I’ll separate them in school. For one thing they’ve never been together since my son is in the special education program through my school district and my daughter is in private preschool. I don’t want my son to have a direct comparison in school once they’re in Kindergarten. My daughter is further along academically and she catches on easily while my son does not. Plus my daughter just takes over for her brother and does things for him. While it will be a pain dealing with 2 teachers instead of one, I know it will be better for them.